BTS Sickfics

Yoongi's Nightmares

!! TRIGGER WARNING: Gore, Suicide !!

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Yoongi's POV -

We moved house this month, but today is our first night actually sleeping there. There were issues with the building, which is why it took so long to actually get in there, but we moved most of our furniture out. So really, we've been in non-stop moving, on top of our usual schedule. Thankfully, we don't have any concerts for another 2 months yet, so we have time to settle into our new home.

The house has seven bedrooms, but Jimin and Hoseok have still decided to share with each other, so the last bedroom will be changed to a small studio for everyone to work in. I like the idea, but I probably won't use it. I have a massive studio just next door. It's more for the vocal line to help us out.

Everyone is pretty excited, as this is a top of the range apartment, and, even though I don't pay attention to architecture, it truly is a beautiful home, with large windows with a countryside view of Seoul. It's fresh, a crisp white paint in each room, with a modern twist. It makes me feel so much more posh and rich that I actually am.

I can't really say I'm excited. I'm happy for a fresh new place, but, whenever there's a big change in my life, I start to have nightmares, and sleep paralysis. It can carry on for months, if I can't get hold of it. I know that I'll start to have them again with the new move, but the other boys seem to have forgotten about it. I almost feel too afraid to tell them. I'm 27, for God's sake. I feel like I can handle this by myself.

I sit down onto my bed, taking in the large, open-plan windows, coming to a triangular shape, sue to us being on the top floor. My window faces the city side of Seoul, and I watch as little ant people walk past. I love having a good view.

The room doesn't smell like me. All of my things are neat, and in order, instead of thrown across the room, like in the old place. It's not the sort of mess I can make intentionally, though; that just looks stupid. It's something that happens over time. But it just feels like my room isn't my room anymore.

There's a soft knock on the door, and Namjoon comes in. "How do you like it, hyung? I have loads of space for all my collectibles, so I don't have to keep cramming everything into my studio. I'm so excited!" He claps his hands and jumps a little. When Namjoon gets extremely excited, he always stims like that. It's adorable.

I nod my head a little. "It's ... big."

"You don't sound too happy," Namjoon says, sinking onto the bed next to me. "What's up? You feeling nervous?"

"It's not that. It's just overwhelming, I guess. It doesn't feel like home yet."

"You mean we haven't destroyed anything yet?" Namjoon smiles, shaking his head a little. "I'm making a promise to myself. I'm going to start to be more careful now. I hate breaking everything. I'm gonna keep my place neat."

I laugh at him. We all know that's not going to last long. No matter what Namjoon does, he always breaks, spills, or drops things. Namjoon gives me a little push, but he's laughing too. "Yeah, right," I say, but then I stop smiling, slouching down. "Joonie?"

"There's something bugging you. What is it?"

I hesitate a little, wondering if I should tell him. He gently rests his hand on my lower back, encouraging me. "The nightmares, Joon. They're gonna start again."

"Oh."

"It always happens when we move. I can't avoid it. I just want to sleep properly, Joon, but I know that I won't."

"Well, it's been a long time since we last had a big change. You might have grown out of it by now, hyung."

I shake my head a little. There's always a chance that it won't happen this time, but I'm not confident in it happening. "I have medication ready, just in case. It's the last dose, so I'll have to go back to the doctors, but we're not registered here yet, so it's gonna take a while."