BTS Sickfics

Namjoon's Psoriasis

request by anonymous :)

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Namjoon's POV -

When I was about 12 years old, my skin began to turn all red, dry, and patchy, and I had all of these odd scales all over me. It was something that happened like overnight. I went to sleep feeling just fine, and, when I woke up, my arms were covered in the itchy scales. My mum just thought I was having a reaction to the washing powder she had started using, but, when the patches didn't calm down, she took me to a doctor.

At first, they just shrugged me off, and said that it was just a rash. I remember distinctly that they brought up the word 'psoriasis', but, they decided not to diagnose it, since it had come on so suddenly. They prescribed me an antihistamine cream, and told us to come back if it didn't go away.

As you could guess, it didn't go away. The itchy, scaly, dry patches of skin spread over my legs, and we're even forming under my hair. My hair didn't exactly 'fall out' the way you would think, but, when my mum combed my hair, or when I washed it, thick chunks would come out in our hands.

So we went back to the doctors, and this time they decided that it was definitely psoriasis. They said I had a severe case, since so much of my body was covered in it, and they were worried about the patch that was starting to form on my forehead. I was sent to a dermatologist, who confirmed the severeness, and prescribed me with a whole handful of creams. I could literally slide out of an iron grip my skin was that greasy.

For the first couple of years, the creams worked really well, and would stop any flare ups in its tracks. Although I didn't forget that I had it, since it only flared up once every other month, it didn't really bother me. It only really affected my elbows and knees, which could stay mostly hidden under my school uniform.

Puberty changed my body. Just after turning 16, the creams stopped working. The patches formed on my elbows and knees, and wouldn't go no matter how much I covered myself. Since it was left untreated, they began to spread over my body again. After just a couple of days, I couldn't move my right hand, since my palm had become so swollen and dry with scales it hurt too much to bear.

Socially, I really started to struggle. I looked a sight, and everyone stared and whispered about me as I walked past. I was known as 'the dragon' because of the silvery scales covering my body. I was too anxious to change for PE classes, and the boys in my class caught on, and soon they started trying to physically rip the clothes off my body, just so they could get a better look.

Until someone started a rumour that I was extremely infectious. No one would go near me, and would shrink away in fear if I stepped closer to them. At first, it didn't feel too bad, since I was sick of being grabbed and pulled at, but the joke wore off pretty quickly, and soon I couldn't make it down a hallway without crying. I was a boy of a certain age, and, when pretty young girls backed away from you like you were the figure of their nightmares, my mental health took a serious tumble.

At this point, I was already seriously into music, and was desperate to work in a studio, and make my own music, much to my parents' disapproval. Music was a massive escape for me. Even though my hands hurt a lot, I could get lost in the beat, and I didn't have to worry about what everyone else thought. I had my own world.

Obviously, I was back and forth the dermatologist with all of this happening. I tried other creams, which didn't work, so I started something called phototherapy. The patches would be zapped with an ultraviolet light, and they started to disappear again. This was a much stronger treatment, which meant the patches didn't come back for a long time.

Just in time, actually. I nailed my audition to join a small trainee idol group called BigHit, and I was added to a new lineup for a boy group. I was joined by first Yoongi, then Hoseok, and then our vocal line.