Planes and Birthdays
Blood scattered on the floor as he fell holding the hit part with tears streaming down his face. I couldn't move. My feet are being glued on the floor. I tried to reach his hands but the darkness started to pull him from me.
"No!" I scream trying to reach him.
"I love you, Venice."
Tears flow on my cheeks as my back arch from the bed. The dim room hear my sobs from the nightmare happened days ago. Niyakap ko ang mga tuhod ko at doon ibinuhos ang luha ng pangungulila at sakit. I still can't get over about it...and I don't think if I can.
I've been always like this. Mag iisang linggo na akong binabangungot sa huling pagkikita namin. Ilang gabi ko ng napapanaginipan ang salitang lagi kong nais marinig sa labi niya. That was painful. I heard it in his lips...but it feels like fire burning my heart.
"You're crying?"
Mabilis kong pinahid ang luha sa pisngi ko. Kuya Shaun holding the door knob with his eyes focus on me.
"Bakit hindi ka kumatok?"
Tahimik niyang sinara ang pinto at umupo sa kama ko. Bigla nalang umingay ang puso ko. Kapag kaming dalawa ni Kuya Shaun ang nagsama sa isang lugar ay wala pang magandang kinalalabasan.
"I did."
"T-talaga?"
Napaigtad ako ng haplusin niya ang pisngi ko. Kuya Shaun never touch me this way. His eyes now shows affection. Nag unahan muli sa pagbagsak ang luha ko at humikbi.
"K-kuya.."
Dinamba ko siya ng yakap at umiyak sa unang pagkakataon sa bisig niya. I know he stiffened but my tears never stop when I feel him pull me tighter.
"Tell me what to say. Tell me Allison. Nandito si Kuya."
It was good crying on someone's arm. I feel safe. I feel at ease. But my brother's arm can be my rest after being in the battlefield. Grabeng pagod ang dulot ng sobrang pagmamahal. Grabeng sakit ang nangyari sa pusong sobrang magtiwala. Ganito man ang kinahihinatnan, kailangan ko ng magpahinga.
After all, my brother's arm are the safest haven.
Tell me that my reasons are shallow. But I couldn't stand the pain I've been feeling since I discovered everything. I love him so much. So much that I almost forget that he wrecked me. Hanggang ngayon, magkahalong galit at sakit ang nararamdaman ko sa tuwing naalala ko ang pinakita niya kay Leo.
I willingly do it with him. I willingly do it because I love him and trust him so much. Sobrang tiwala na nauwi sa pagwasak.
"Cry Allison. Kuya will listen to your cries now." He whisper.
"Kuya ang sakit. Ang sakit sakit." Sinuntok ko ang dibdib ko. Tangina!
"What else? Tell it to Kuya."
"K-kung alam ko lang..sana hindi ko nalang nilandi...sana hindi nalang ako humingi ng label. K-kuya sobrang sakit dito."
"Say it all. Say it all Allison."
He brush my hair. I started to feel numb. Namamanhid ang puso ko kasabay ng paulit ulit na pagkadurog. Ang pagsuklay ng buhok, pinaalala na naman siya.
Niyakap ko ng mahigpit si Kuya Shaun at mariing pumikit. Hinayaan kong basain muli ang pisngi ko. Umiyak ako ng malakas. Nilakasan ko para sana..marinig niya. Marinig niya ang sakit na idinulot niya sa akin.
Puta Cevi. Kahit ang sakit, ikaw parin.
"K-kuya asan siya? Hindi niya ba ako hinanap? Hindi ba siya tumawag?"
BINABASA MO ANG
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