"That's me" // Xukun's FF

Chapter 3

Nana's POV

Running up the stairs I think about Qinjia's words. "Xukun was asking for you...I don't know what he wants...I guess it's something about his album because he was holding it in his hands."

"Nana," Qinjia says smiling weakly at me opening her arms to hug me. She wears one of the sweater with penguins Cheng and I bought for her for her birthday. Next to her to my surprise I notice Chengcheng. His eyes are full of worry and sadness but I can't tell if it's because of me or Xukun. Or us both.

I didn't expect him to be here today. I mean now he lives in another town and it takes a while to come here. It's his stepbrother, I know, but still I didn't realise they are that close. They made up indeed but still when I last saw them two I didn't get the feeling they would ever behave like a real family. Xukun never mentioned him. I thought they are just related on paper and they know each other. Nothing more. But maybe I was wrong...why do always bad things have to happen to trigger some hidden feelings and make us understand how someone is important to us?

"How are you feeling?" he asks taking me into his arms right after I pull away from Qinjia. He smells just like always. Sweet familiar scent hits my nose but it isn't calming at all. I remember the times when I used to wait just to smell it not to mention about a hug. I guess I was just young but I wasn't in love then. I wanted to be and I had forced myself to think I was. I made a perfect couple of us in my mind. The great couple you can see in a book or a movie. But it wasn't it. I guess love isn't that easy and you can't chose who you love. It comes to you in the most unexpected moment. The most unexpected person...

"Used to be better," I answer truthfully pulling away from the friendly embrace. I sigh deeply trying to get myself together somehow but I guess it can be seen that I was crying a lot yesterday. I tried to cover the dark circles and puffiness with make up but I am getting less and less sure that it has worked as I had wanted it to.

"But it must be hard for you, too. It's your brother after all. He doesn't remember you, too. Was he talking a lot? How is he...behaving?" I ask hesitantly not knowing how to construct the question so it would sound good.

"He's...a bit distant...but sometimes cocky at the same time-"

"He's almost the same as he was the first day we all met him," Cheng interrupts her sister not going all around the houses. He just says it in the easiest way to understand.

"But just yesterday he was nice when I came in with Ziyi but-"

"But it was before he found out about his mother," I am cut off by the low familiar voice and I turn my head around. Ziyi stands two steps behind me. His hands hidden in the pocket of his black jeans. The blue hoodie tells me he wasn't even thinking what to wear today. There are black circles under his eyes as if he hadn't slept second night in the raw. Maybe he didn't indeed. "I told you yesterday how his mother death affected him. But I thought maybe this time will be different. Back then he was watching her as she was slowly dying. He wasn't prepared for losing her...it isn't something you can be prepared for. But he knew the day will come. He was just waiting every day hoping that that day won't be her last. But now...it just hit him like a thunderstorm. I guess death is death...no matter how it's happening it hurts the same in the end," the boy adds looking at the floor as if he was thinking out loud.

"You should go to him. He's waiting for you," Qinjia breaks the silent that was set between us and I nod putting a smile on.

I walk away from them and walk through the corridor to the door. I look through the window to find him reading something on the phone. I guess Mr. Fan get him a new one because the last one was totally damaged after the accident and there was nothing left of it which was great news. He probably had many photos of us there...at least I hope he had.