"That's me" // Xukun's FF

Chapter 20

Xukun's POV

"Nana, will you...I mean...do you have time because I want to...so maybe-" I start but the girl cuts me off.

"Are you going to say something or not?" she asks as I try to get myself together.

Say it, Xukun.

"Will you go with me to the mall to buy a gift for Qinjia?" I ask totally disappointed in myself. Since when a word 'date' is so hard to say for me? Since when I am such a coward? I don't remember myself being like that. I don't feel I ever was like that even though I don't remember a big part of my life. Maybe really something happened to my head in that accident?

Nana looks at me a bit taken aback by my question. "You're Qinjia's best friend, so you will choose a better gift than me. I want to give her something that she would like," I say and notice a hint of disappointment in her eyes but I might be wrong.

"Okay, however are you sure it is good for you to go there? You're still quite a hot topic. It might be a bit risky. If someone sees us together, it will be a disaster," Nana explains and I nod my head. But I really want to go there with her. I can't now randomly ask her out. Sometimes I forget that I'm famous. That there are a lot of people who recognise me and want to meet me. To be honest it gets a bit tiring in a situation like that. Because I already forgot how it is to be known. Did I got used to a life like that before? Or you can't get used to it?

"It can't be that bad. We wear masks and all. Beside we can go on Tuesday since there shouldn't be a lot of people in the middle of the week," I declare and the girl sighs deeply in defeat.

"Okay," she says and smiles softly at me. Her ocean blue eyes hypnotise me. I have never seen more mesmerising view than them. I can see everything in them. They're like an open door to her soul however it's dark inside and I don't have a flashlight with me. I think the only thing I have to find now is a flashlight. Then I will know everything.

But I have to find a battery to this flashlight and I might need Zhengting's help. I think he is a deep, precise watcher. However he might be someone that will spill the tea. But I don't think I have his phone number.

"Oh and, Nana," I say before she can turn around and leave. "Can you give me Zhengting's phone number? I would like to meet with him and talk to him, too," I explain and the girl furrows her brows as if she was worried by my statement even though my request was quite simple. Is she afraid of what her brother might tell me?

"Okay, wait a moment," she says awkwardly and takes out her phone. She types something and I wait patiently for her to finish doing whatever she does. A strand of her hair falls on her face and she tries to take it away by tiny but aggressive moves of her head. It looks just adorable but the fact that she fails makes it even cuter. I automatically pull the strand behind her ear and an oddly familiar feeling fills me up. The last time I did that I almost kissed her. Now I can't let myself do something like that. I should take it slow. I still don't even know who I am. I should focus only on this however I can't help myself. I don't even want to force myself not to think about her nor be near her. It all comes so naturally that I'm not able to resist.

Nana freezes for a brief moment. She avoids the eye contact with me and I know I have a big impact on her. But I don't know if these are just residue of her old feelings or they have never left because we have never broken up. Nonetheless her small reactions on my touch or words are hard to ignore.

I take my hand away and watch her trying to act normally when I notice it. A tiny gentle chain on her neck. However I can't see all of this since she hides it under her shirt. "You wear a necklace? I haven't notice it before," I say and she puts her hand on her torso. She seems to be tense for a brief moment but she quickly relaxes. The girl smiles softly at me as she puts the phone in her pocket.