"That's me" // Xukun's FF

Chapter 25

Nana's POV

It has been few days since Qinjia's birthday and unfortunately I remember what happened. I remember kissing Xukun too well. I was so glad I hadn't seen him that morning and that I haven't seen him at all. I avoided him just perfectly. He probably thinks I don't remember anything. He still hasn't recalled his memory but I might have helped him taking this particular memory out of the drawer "FORGOTTEN". What is more, unfortunately, he remembers everything that happened that night. I can't think of any good excuse for my action. The only one good is the truth but how can I? I'm not ready yet. It's not a good time.

I haven't been sleeping because of that. Memories of it haunts me. Embarrassment mixes with happiness and excitement. I don't even know if I'm more ashamed of what I did or more happy because Xukun kissed me back. Or maybe this one was made up by my imagination? No...I'm sure it happened. But in that way I should be able to face him so what is actually keeping back? Maybe I'm not really that sure about him kissing me back...

Nonetheless I make my way to the practise room trying to stay unnoticed. I go forward looking around making sure I won't see Xukun or maybe more like he won't see me.

"Nana!" I hear a familiar voice and jump out of surprise. I eye my younger brother with murderous glare. "Do you have to be so loud, Justin? You scared me, you little brat," I respond rolling my eyes. How does he do it? Why haven't I hear him walking? "What are you doing here?" I add.

"Emm...training. And I'm not that little anymore, see?" he answers and I realise the stupidity of my question. Justin comes closer next to me to show me that he is a head taller than me. For me he will always be a little brat. "And beside that, Xukun asked me to bring him some water," he adds and my heart skip a bit.

"Where is he?" I ask quickly with panic evident in my voice making Justin grin from ear to ear in amusement. "Not here. It was just a joke, sis. It's so fun to tease you," he responds with smile still evident on his face. I try to keep my hands to myself but I would love to punch him right now. My angry face makes him smile even wider if it's even possible.

I love my brother. Cousin actually. But as much as I love him, I want to kill him sometimes. It has been like that since I remember and nothing has changed. I have always thought that it would be better when I finally leave his parents' house but sometimes I miss those little arguments we used to have on everyday basis. I wonder if he feels the same way or he actually feels relieved.

"I don't know where he is nor what he's doing. Don't ask me. But why are you so nervous, my precious Nana. Did you do something on Qinjia's birthday? You probably remember everything," Justin says and take a deep breath.

"Don't you have other things to do?" I ask letting him know that I'm done talking with him. He smiles at me brightly and pats my head mussing my hair. Just how I used to do it when he was shorter than me. I miss those times. I watch his back as he walks away. Not so long ago Justin was just a little kid. I mean he is only two years younger than me but in my eyes he is my little brother. I wonder if Zhengting also feels this way when he looks at me and Justin. He is the oldest one after all. He was taking care of both of us while no one really took care of him. That's why Qinjia is the best match for him. He needs someone who would look after him as well.

I walk through the corridors more calm this time. It seems that he isn't here. Is he avoiding the company just because of me? Maybe we should actually talk about it? Should I apologise and just explain myself saying I was drunk? But why does he thinks I remember anything? Any other person who doesn't know me would look at me and think 'yeah, she won't remember anything next day, she's totally wasted'. But it seems that he knows I remember. Why is that?