Allison and Kid

Chapter 13: Decisions

It's always good at first. Even though we're thousand miles apart, we did our best so we won't feel lonely. She's always a part of my day. We don't talk most of the time but whenever there's a chance, we make sure that we'll grab it. We sent each other photos, videos, and sometimes had video calls. She's not the typical wordy girl. Actually she doesn't talk that much. I always do the talking. She's more expressive in chats. I think it's because she's not that comfortable yet. I know it will change when we meet each other.

The pandemic gave us a lot of time. She told me that she's taking advantage of it because when things go back to normal, she'll be busy again. I also think the same way. I'll be busy in school too.

Of all the girls that I met, she's the most financially stable. Not because she's rich but because she always make sure that there's something for her savings. I didn't ask about her salary but I know that it's more than enough to raise a family. She works in Supreme Court and she's wise when it comes to handling money. She's also the only girl who told me that she'll visit me here. Plane tickets are very expensive and of course she needs to spend money when it comes to her visa and documents.

"Are you sure that you'll go here?" I asked

"Yeah. I could stay for a week. We have vacation every April to May and I'd love to spend it with you. I just hope that next year's vacation will meet your birthday." She answered

"Allie, aaral na lang ako rito. Bubuhayin mo naman ako e." I joked

"Hindi ka naman magugutom kahit di ako magtrabaho. Mukhang ako pa nga pakakainin mo." I added

"You know I will support you in everything that you do." She said

"I'm actually thinking if I'd continue studying law in a university and that will take a lot of years or if I'd pursue being a policeman."

"What do you really want?"

"I want to join RCMP. I think I wasted my money because I took law but now, I think I really want to join RCMP."

"Weigh the pros and cons first. Think about it."

"Yes, love. I really have to."

I really admire Allie because she knows what she wants. Her eyes are focused on her goals and she's achieving those one step at a time unlike me, I'm already 25. I finished HRM, I also took computer programming, worked here as an assistant in a dental clinic, worked in an elderly institution, worked as a manager in café, and also worked as an assistant in pharmacy but I still don't know what I want. Actually taking law was not my first choice. I was thinking if I should take up nursing or dentistry but I ended up here.

I'm not sure about anything that's why I hate myself and I also can't say that I love myself too.

I know Allie has nothing to do with it and she makes me happy. I don't want to drag her and she's very supportive but my thoughts are eating me.

She also mentioned to me that her doctor told her that it's better if she'll be pregnant before 30. It runs in their blood. Her sister, Violet had a hard time before she had her baby. It took years for her and it'll be the same for Allie.

If I'll continue taking up law, I'd finish after 30. I'm just a year older than her.

Of course, I have to include my Allison in my future plans and I don't want to bring her down.

It's time to make proper decisions because it's not just for me. It's about me and Allie.