Allison and Kid

Chapter 16: Time

TORONTO, ONTARIO, CANADA |12 MIDNIGHT| KID ROXAS

Allie stopped singing songs for me. It's just the same messages everyday-how her day went, her look for that day, her frustrations, things that made her nervous and scared and many more. I also noticed that she's depending on me. She calls to say "Babe, I need to hear your voice. Kinakabahan ako." Or "Daniel, I miss you so much." and I admit, I'm starting to hate it. It's enough for me that I know that she loves me. We're both adults and busy but what she's doing feels like I'm obliged to be with her every minute, every hour. It's hard because we're thousand miles apart.

Even though she's busy with work and her new house, she also have time for her friends. She always hang out with her college buds-Chelsea Torres, Jean Saavedra, and Nathan Woodlawn. Allie is very close to those three because they're her seatmates.

I don't have any problem with Chelsea and Jean because they're girls but I find Nathan alarming. I'm not the jealous type of guy but I know it when someone likes my girl. Aside from being Allie's seatmate, he was also her bandmate in college. Whenever they go out, I always see him beside my angel.

I trust Allie. I trust her with all of my heart but I don't trust him. Maybe because it's also my first time to have a girlfriend who's close to guys. It's a band thing, you know and Allie is a type of girl that you'd take care of even though you're just friends because she's very thoughtful. I don't want to admit but Nathan is also good looking. He's half American, he's got good built, tall, handsome, light skinned but of course, Allie's lighter, and they sing together. I hate it when he plays his guitar and they sing together. I never told my girl about that because she knew him first and I don't want to start a fight because of him. I will just trust Allie.

But I have bigger problem than that. Enrollment will start next week and I haven't decided yet. I'm torn between eyeing to be a lawyer or to serve as a police. I don't want to waste what I have started but I also don't want to let go of my dream.

OCTOBER 4, 2020 |

Allie went cold. Maybe because I'm cold too. Actually, I expected this to happen. She's not getting what she want from me.

"Is it okay if I'd be gone for few days?" she asked

I knew it. Allie's not fine.

Whenever she's mad, she won't talk with the person she argued with for days and worse, for months. That's her way of healing her wounds and when she told that to me, I already know why. I'm hurting Allie and it's already bad.

"Sure. Maybe that's what we need too. Just make sure that you're always fine." I answered

And she didn't reply

I felt sad. I'm also scared that she'll find someone new and it's worse if it's Woodlawn but I trust Allie. She just needed time.

Time passed and she sent me a good night message. I heard nothing about what happened to her day but she sent me that message. Tomorrow came and she also said "good morning" and after that, still nothing.

Things stressed me out. I disappointed Allie and I don't have any decision yet.

"I need time to think about things." I told myself

Yesterday came and I sent Allie a message.

"I think it's better if we'll have a time off. I have to think about things first. TBH, I also think that you made me your world and I don't like where we're going. I just need to be alone." I said

"Okay, have all the time that you need." she told me

I know she's thinking why but I don't want to drag her and I'm honest that I see it that way. It's getting harder for us and I know that she's strong and she can live without me.

Since then, I always leave my phone in the room because I'm not gonna use it. After three days, I received missed calls from her and I didn't notice those because I spent my day downstairs. I checked her chat to know why.

"Left flank pains. I can't sleep and I can't move properly because of it. Kuya Pine will go home later to check me." She said

Just after few days, Allie got sick. I was so scared and worried because she's far from me and it's still not safe to be in the hospital because of coronavirus. Good thing that her eldest sibling is a doctor. Someone can check her.

I was about to reply when I saw that she's typing.

"Will undergo urinalysis tomorrow. Possible na UTI raw sabi ni kuya but for now, nagreseta muna sya ng pain killer and paracetamol." She said

"Good. Keep safe. Drink lots of water and take vitamins." I told her.

It feels bad to be away and it feels bad that I haven't decided yet.

I know Pine will take care of her and Allie is a strong one.

My heart aches that time. I want to be beside her but I'm still puzzled on what I'm gonna do with my life.