Allison and Kid

CHAPTER 32: Saddest Smile I Have Ever Seen

MAY 21, 2022 | OSHAWA, ONTARIO, CANADA | MARCO DIAZ

It was a tiring day so I decided to have a coffee break. Since Tim Hortons is near our college, I decided to just rest there.

I sat far from the entrance because I don't want to see people coming in and out and I also want to have a little time alone. There were only few people that time so it's perfect. While waiting for my drink, I called Romeo to check if Chesca was okay. He told me that Chesca was watching TV and she even said "hi" to me. I told her that I will just have a little break in café. After the call, the barista gave me my drink. I thanked him and he smiled back.

I watched him as he walk away and he stopped at a girl seated by the window. I can't understand what they're saying because it's French and it seems like the barista doesn't know English that well. After a small talk, the guy left her and she continued reading her book. I stared at her. She's young, she's cute. She looks like someone that I know. I stared a little longer and checked my phone. I looked for Kid and I's previous conversation. It's like more than a year ago so it took a lot of time for me to see it. Finally, I saw what I am looking for—Allie's picture.

The girl by the window looks like Allie. I think it's her.

I got up and took my stuff with me. I approached her and she looked at me while sipping her coffee.

"Allie?" I asked

"Marco?" she asked back

"Oh, you're here."

"Yeah. Take a seat."

I smiled and I sat in front of her.

"What brought you here, girl?"

"Hmmm...past?" and she gave me a fake smile

Allie is a beautiful girl. She's got round brown eyes, flowy hair, fair skin, and sweet smile. She also look young for her age.

"How about you, Marco? What brought you here?"

"I wanna have a break."

"Oh, am I taking too much of your time?"

"No, dear. If you don't mind, can you tell me why you're here?"

Allie sipped again and took a deep breath.

"To end something that didn't end properly"

"Is Kid related to that?"

She smiled and nodded

"We don't talk anymore. We never broke up."

"If you want to talk, I am here to listen."

She smiled again and closed her eyes for a sec.

"This isn't the original plan. Spring isn't supposed to be like this. He told me that we'd catch fish, have long walks, and he'd cook our food; he also said that he'd cook spaghetti for me because it's my favorite..."

She paused and tears fell from her eyes like a waterfall. She continued staring at me and smiled as if she's fine.

"Now look at me. I eat all my meals here." She continued

Watching her cry stabs me. This girl deserves a reason. This girl fell hard and Kid, just the nerve, Kid, isn't man enough. I'm right; she's too beautiful for him. Her heart aches so much for someone who doesn't see her worth and now, he's with someone else.

I gave her my handkerchief and she dried her eyes but she can't stop her tears.

"You know, I thought it's him. He told me that we'd risk together and I can lean on him but after few months, when he saw the real me, he left. He told me that I was everywhere, I was all over. I don't know why. I let him do whatever he wants to do and I didn't ask much about his past or even asked about his decisions because I trust him. Until now, I don't know." She said and paused for a while

I asked for a glass of water and told her to drink it.

"I was supposed to go here last year but I decided not to because it hurts a lot and I might do stupid things. Now, I have enough courage to end this. I was stupid to believe in him and too dumb to love him. I always pray at night so I won't see him here; well, there's a huge chance but I really hope so." She continued

"So he doesn't know"

"Yeah"

"Do you still like this place?"

"Canada is still Canada with or without him. Actually, I have a plan"

"What is it?"

"I'd do all our plans all by myself."

"What have you done so far?"

"I had long walks and even went into the woods."

"Oh, geez. What else?"

"Just that"

"Where do you stay?"

"I guess I'd rather not tell you that but I'm leaving tomorrow morning."

"Do you have any message for him?"

"Hmmm. None."

"Do you want me to give him something?"

"Hmmm. No."

"You really want to forget him, huh?"

"I know it's impossible. I just want to end everything. If he can't do it, I'll do it alone."

"Why?"

"Hmmm. I think it's because I realized something since he left me. You know, if you ended with the love of your life, you are too lucky because most of the time, love tends to be a hard lesson. It molds you to be tougher, to be stronger but the sad part is, you won't end up with the same person. It's unfair, that's true but it's a part of it and I think it's better that I felt it than to feel nothing at all. He's a lesson and I tried hard not to fail but I'm happy that even if it's just a while, I met him. Now, I know what I really want and what I really need; it's not him. I also realized that I want him in my life but I don't need him. I still function well without him."

"How can you want someone and not need him at the same time?"

"I want him because he's smart and he's almost perfect but I don't need him because he chose to leave and I know, I don't deserve that. He's just a want and will never ever be a need. My heart feels this way because even though I hated him, I can't hate him forever. I still think that our memories are beautiful but sad but the way he left speaks so loud. I know my worth enough to let it be shattered by someone. Hmm I don't wanna lie anymore. I still love him but not enough to fight for more."

Her heart did its job and that is to love but her mind did the best because it chose what is right. I know someday, she will feel nothing at all.

Kid is not the one, darling. 

She's too beautiful to be held by him.