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Chapter 16

Days flew by way quicker than before. Naging maayos ang takbo ng negosyo. I'm even planning to buy a public resort in Cavite. It's kind of expensive but I know how successful it will be.

I never expected the offer to come when it did, but the moment I read the message, something lit up inside me. It felt like the beginning of something I had been quietly hoping for, even before I knew how much I wanted it.

Ilang buwan kong ginugol sa pagtatrabaho ang sarili. Kikitain sa weekend si Reese, tapos balik trabaho na ulit.

I can already picture the plans unfolding, the meetings, the late nights, the quiet victories. And for the first time in a while, I feel excited. Not just for what’s coming, but for who I get to be because of it.

For years, my routine was repeatedly just my daughter, my businesses, my family, and myself.

I had suitors. Men and women. I'm just not ready to enter a relationship yet.

I’ve dated them and both experiences have shaped the way I understand love, connection, and myself.

For a while, I felt like I had to explain it. Like I owed people some kind of clarity or definition. I spent too much time trying to fit into boxes that never really felt like mine. But over time, I let that pressure go.

Now, it’s simply part of who I am. Not something I hide. Not something I feel the need to defend. Just one of the many ways I’ve lived and learned and let people in.

Binabalita sa akin ni Reese kapag umuuwi si Janine dito sa manila. She's busy with work and sometimes, she asks about me.

Katulad noong nakaraang buwan, pinipilit ako ni Reese na dalawin siya. Kung hindi ko pa narinig ang boses ni Janine sa kabilang linya, talagang pupunta ako.

It’s been four years and Janine still has that effect on me. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ganoon pa rin, pero sa totoo lang, sa pangalan pa lang niya, parang may kumikirot na agad sa dibdib ko.

Noong isang araw, narinig ko ulit yung boses ni Janine. Hindi ko inaasahan. Hindi ako handa. Saglit lang 'yon, pero sapat na para maramdaman ko ulit lahat.

Tumatanda na si Reese at nagiging maloko sa ganitong bagay. Tinatawagan niya ako madalas kapag kasama niya si Janine.

She's purposely doing that so I would know that they are together.

Yung tunog ng boses niya, pareho pa rin. Pamilyar. Malumanay. Pero masakit sa paraang hindi ko maipaliwanag.

Hindi ko ugaling gumamit ng ibang tao para gumaling sa sugat ng kahapon. I'm not that type of person who takes advantage of others. As much as I can, I go on dates with genuine intentions. May it be to spend time with them or simply be intimate.

Hindi ko alam kung pinababango lang ba ni Reese ang pangalan ng mommy niya sakin pero sa tuwing napag uusapan si Janine, sinasabi lagi ni Reese na namimiss daw ako nito.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit kahit kailan, hindi na nagkaron ng iba si Janine. Also, wala akong alam kung bakit hindi niya ako kinikita sa tuwing umuuwi dito sa Pilipinas.

It’s not that I’m craving to see her again. It’s not even about missing her, at least not in the way people expect. I don’t wake up longing for her voice or replaying memories like some old film I refuse to let go of. It’s quieter than that.

What I feel now is different. It’s not about wanting her back. It’s more like… I just want to know how she’s doing.

Maybe that’s what people don’t get. You can care about someone without wanting to start over. You can feel that thing in your chest and still know that the story between you is over.