Maybe it was the last fragile piece of my conscience that allowed Janine to wrap her arms around me while she cried. That small, stubborn part of me that still knew how to be human, even when everything else inside me felt cold and distant.
I didn't move right away. I just stood there, letting her sob against my chest, her body trembling with a pain I couldn't fix and maybe didn't even fully understand. My hands hovered for a moment before finally settling on her back, unsure if I was comforting her or just making peace with my own guilt.
Apektado man, hindi ko na lang ipinahalata.
I didn't owe her anything. Not anymore. But something in me, something quiet and buried and barely alive, couldn't pull away. And maybe that was all I had left to offer. Not forgiveness. Not love. Just the simple, silent act of staying still while she broke apart in my arms.
Tuluyang nawala sa katawan ko ang epekto ng alak. Kanina lang ang init pa, parang kaya kong harapin kahit ano, parang lahat ng bagay kayang tawanan, kalimutan, iwasan. Pero ngayon, wala na. Biglang nagising 'yung utak ko. Biglang bumigat 'yung dibdib.
Alam kong kahit papano, tinamaan ako kanina. Pero ngayon, parang tubig lang ang ininom ko dahil sobrang maayos ang aking wisyo.
"Oh," aatras sana ako kung hindi lang masyadong mahigpit ang yakap niya sakin. "Bakit umiiyak ka?" tanong ko habang nakayakap pa rin siya sakin.
Really tho, it's not as if I cheated or something.
She didn't say anything. Tanging ang iyak lang niya na unti-unting humihina ang maririnig mula sa kanya.
"You were dancing with a girl tapos ngayon iyak-iyak ka." I even chuckled at the end of my remark.
"Sorry..." she sounded so guilty that it made me want to take my remark back.
"It's actually fine." sambit kong labas sa ilong. "You don't have to apologize for flirting in front of me." dagdag ko.
Talaga namang ayos lang. Kung masaya siya at natanggap niya na ngayon na wala na talaga kami, ayos lang.
I'm not even sure if hurt is the right word anymore. Maybe I'm just pissed. Not because she moved on. Not because she met someone else. But because she had the nerve to cry in front of me. She cried. She looked me in the eye, voice shaking, tears falling, and begged me to take her back.
And like a fool, I believed it.
And now what? A few days later, I find out she's out there flirting with another woman. Smiling like she never cried in front of me. Talking like she never said all those things. Touching someone else like I was never there.
I don't even know if I'm angry at her or at myself anymore.
"Sabi kasi ni Aubrey, magbilang daw ako dahil titingin ka sakin." kumalas siya sa yakap at marahang umatras.
Hindi ako nagsalita. I just want her to continue talking.
"The moment you walked into that bar, I swear, it was impossible not to notice you. You weren't loud, you weren't trying to stand out, but there was something about you."
Bahagya akong tumawa dahil hindi naman ako naniniwala sa kanya.
"With that hair and outfit..." she chuckled and checked my reaction.
Ngitian ko siya at kalaunan, bahagyang tinawanan.
"Bola." saad ko.
" I knew you were looking for someone..." She stated.
Nanatili akong tahimik.
"Really, tho." iniayos niya ang pagkakahiga paharap sakin. "Sinabi kong kapag tumingin ka, willing akong mag sayaw ng ibang babae."
BINABASA MO ANG
CAPTIVATED
General FictionEMPIRE SERIES #1 How do two hearts that once beat the same find their way back after everything broke? And if you're already okay now, living fully without them, is going back still worth it? This is a story of what stays, what fades, and what love...
