CAPTIVATED

Chapter 30

Dala yata ng alak kaya lumilikot ang aking utak. Paubos na ang laman ng bote at kung anu-ano na lang ang napag uusapan naming dalawa.

It started slow. Just a slight warmth rising in my chest, soft like the early stages of a blush. I barely noticed it at first.

The alcohol wasn't a blur. It was a glow.

Janine raised her glass, I mirrored her without thinking, letting the alcohol settle into me with the ease of something familiar.

By the last few sips, I felt it more.

A gentle fuzziness behind my eyes, not enough to blur anything, just enough to make everything feel a little kinder.

Janine was laughing about something, one hand curled around her glass, the other brushing her hair behind her ear like she wasn't even aware of how beautiful she looked doing it.

Her cheeks had a little more color now. Her smile came easier. I could tell the drink was hitting her too, in the same gentle way it was hitting me.

I wasn't floating. I was grounding. Into her. Into this.

And for the first time in a long time, I didn't want to be anywhere else.

Ang hindi ko lang maintindihan, ay kung bakit ba kahit na anong gawin kong pagpilit sa sarili na manood at mag focus sa palabas, palaging ang bagsak ng paningin ko ay kay Janine talaga.

"Baby..." she said with her usual tone of voice. "Something's bothering you again?" she added.

Umiling lang ako. Paano ko ba ikukwento sa kanya ang ginawa ni daddy? Alam ko naman na hindi tamang ikumpara ko sila sa isat-isa.

"Hindi nga kita lolokohin." tumawa siya bago lalong ilapit ang sarili sakin.

I sighed. I tried collecting energies and courage so I could tell my father's cheating story. Ayaw ko lang naman na isipin niyang pinaghihinalaan ko siya ng walang dahilan.

Natapos ang pelikula nang hindi ko man lang pinagtuunan ng pansin. Janine put the remaining champagne in both of our glasses.

The alcohol hit deeper now. No longer just a soft warmth, but something heavier, something that pressed against my chest as the night wore on.

Everything suddenly brought me back to that specific night.

"When you told me that you want to break up with me, my decision was solid eleven over ten that I won't let you."

I clicked my lips so they won't dry. I let my emotions come through as te memories from our break up played inside my head.

I got all of her attention from what I said. She even stopped moving when she was supposed to drink her alcohol.

"Wala naman kasi akong pakealam sa mga problema mo. Your problems are mine too... I won't complain just because of the problems that you have. But of course, you already made up your mind." I continued.

Wala na akong balak pang paabutin ng ilang araw ang pagsasarili sa kuwento ni Kael at daddy.

"Minutes after you left my house, my brother called." I closed my eyes tightly. Trying to remember what happened that night clearly.

"But it didn't even take me five minutes. I came back. And you weren't there."

Tinitigan ko siya at inaral ang kanyang bawat galaw. Iniisip niyang ang sakit na nararamdaman ko ay dahil sa pag alis lang niya. What she doesn't know is, I'm in pain because of what my father did.

"When my brother called, he was in panic." it was painful remembering that night but it also feels good to things what I feel out loud.

"May babaeng pumunta sa bahay. She was just seventeen that time. She was pregnant." I drank the remaining champagne on my glass. "With my father's baby." I smiled bitterly.