Salient Secret

Chapter 3

"You said you'd be a few minutes late, it's the last period, why did you even bother showing up?" Maya scolded. Okay so I might have taken a little detour on the way here, I decided to stop at the mall, but I wasn't going to tell her that.

"Better late than never, right?" I faked a smile, trying to placate her, but she was not having it.

"Avery Delilah Shaw if you don't tell me why the hell you were so late, I swear to-"

"Okayyy. Okay," I sighed in defeat, "I will tell you, but I only didn't want to tell you because you're going to either be mad at me or ask too many questions," I said.

"Oh my, this is about a boy, isn't it?" I looked at her and mentally slapped myself for forgetting that this girl knew me better than anyone ever would. She continued once I didn't respond, "Oh, it's about a boy! Tell me everything!" she screeched, and I remembered why I didn't want to tell her, she tends to dissect these types of situations to the point where you become confused about what actually happened.

"There's nothing to tell, some creep was staring me down at the hospital and this stranger helped me out by pretending to know me, he was extremely annoying though," I explained, trying to keep the details to a minimum in attempt to prevent the impending interrogation.

"Did you get his number?" I rolled my eyes.

"Did you really not hear anything I just said, he was-"

"He sounds hot. He was hot, wasn't he?" He was the hottest person I'd ever met but there was no way I was telling her that. Can you see her reaction?

"No, he wasn't."

"He wasn't?" she repeated, tilting her head in disappointment.

"No," I lied again.

"I don't believe you, but it doesn't matter because you didn't get his number, so the chances of you seeing him again are slim."

"Exactly," I said, trying to hide my own disappointment at that. "He didn't seem to be from around here," I added as I remembered the hint of an English accent in his words.

*****

Usually, my dad fetches us from school because both of Mayas mom drops us off, but today Mrs Henley got to leave early because it was her bosses' birthday and she felt like picking us up.

I think she enjoys the after-school gossip in the car between Maya and I, but I told Maya not to bring up Kai because I don't want my mom to know or else, I'd have to tell her some creep was watching me, and that would only feed into her irrational paranoia.

So instead, Maya was telling me how some boy in our grade asked our friend, Tris Deka, to be his girlfriend, he did it in one of those cliché ways, you know, with roses, a teddy bear, a box of chocolates, etc. It was times like that where I couldn't help but think that our generation watched way too much television.

As cheesy as it is though, I really hope someone does something like that for Maya one day. She is comically terrible at reacting, so it would be really entertaining to watch. Even if I wasn't around anymore, I'd want that for her. She has never admitted it but she's a sucker for romantic gestures like that.

And more selfishly, I would like to leave knowing Maya has another real companion, we both have friends but they're not actually friends who we confide in and trust. I'd like to leave knowing she'll be taken care of, that she will have someone, other than her parents, looking out for her, making her laugh.

You'd think I'd be able to feel when it was time to take the forever nap, but no, not once on my many hospital trips have I thought "this is it."

Not to sound nostalgic or anything but I've been given the gift of time, I can plan my own funeral, design my own headstone, say my goodbyes, and then lay back and follow the light. I'm not afraid of dying, I never have been, my biggest fear is my death being a burden to the people I love. I need them to keep living their lives the best they can, to follow their passions, do everything and anything that makes them happy. I need them to live you know.

I don't want my parents to be depressed for excessively long periods of time over their dead daughter, or my siblings to do bad at school and screw up their grades just because all they can think about is their dead sister.

If I could erase myself from their memories somehow, I would. I would give anything to just go, no complications, no loose ties, no depressing my loved ones, just me dying in exchange for them living.