He's Not Mine To Keep [COMPLETED]

Chapter 15

ANG IKALABING-LIMANG KABANATA:
Cry

"Paris, please, tahan na." Yakap ako ngayon ni Avi. Sunod-sunod na mura ang narinig ko sakanya habang hinahagod niya ang likod ko.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. Hindi kita binantayan. I'm sorry. Please, forgive me." Hindi ko siya masagot. Nahihimigan ko rin sa boses niya na naiiyak na rin siya. Maybe because it's the very first time that I broke down like this in front of her. In front of someone.

While crying my heart out, I heard the door clicked open.

"Paris? Oh my, what happened?" Samantha entered the room. Agad kong tinago ang mukha ko.

"Get out." Avi demanded.

"But—"

"Just get out!" Agad naman niyang sinara ang pinto sa biglang pagsigaw ni Avi.

"Hush, now, Paris. I promise, andito lang ako. I will never leave you. I love you, Ris. I love you so much. I would never leave you." Paulit-ulit niyang sabi at hinila ulit ako para yakapin.

I cried and cried to my heart's content.

It somewhat comforts me to know na merong taong hinding-hindi ako iiwan kahit anong mangyari. Na hindi ako iiwan ng isa sa taong kailanman ay hindi ako hinusgahan kahit ano pang sabihin ng iba. That I still have my cousin with me. I still have Avi.

"I'm so sorry, Paris." She mumbled for the nth time. We stayed in that position for a while hanggang huminahon na ako ng konti.

"It's not... your fault. Stop saying it." I told her. Umiling lang siya.

"No. It's partly my fault. Ako ang nagdala sayo dito pero hindi kita binantayan. Hindi ko pa alam kung anong totoong nangyari pero hindi kita pipiliting sabihin. Though may hinala narin ako, I won't force you to confirm it because I know it's something big. Hindi ka iiyak ng ganito kung hindi." Malungkot na kumurba ang gilid ng labi ko.

"Suko na ako." I said out of nowhere. Para akong nakatingin sa malayo habang sinasabi iyon.

"W-What do you mean?" She suddenly sound alarmed.

"I give up." I said and tears start to touch my cheeks again, silently this time.

Hindi agad nakapagsalita si Avi. Iniwas niya ang tingin niya saakin. Namumuo na rin ang mga luha sa mga mata niya. I smiled bitterly. Tumingala siya na para bang pinipigilan niya ang mga luha niya sa pag-agos, saka lumingon muli saakin.

"What do you want me to do?" She asked. Umiling lang ako.

"Nothing. Do nothing." Ayokong idamay siya sa pagiging miserable ko.

Sunod-sunod siyang umiling. Napalunok siya saka desperadong hinawakan ang mga kamay ko.

"N, tell me. Anong kailangan kong gawin? What do you want me to do to ease your pain? Tell me and I'll do it. Ask me anything. I'll do anything." Her desperate yet hopeless voice breaks my heart even more. Her desperate plea is piercing through my heart.

My Avi do not deserve to feel this way.

Her eyes were almost begging. Damn, I hate seeing her like this. I hate situations like this.

We're not this weak. Hindi kami 'to.

Pero kailangan ko ring tanggapin, na hindi naman kasi talaga ako matatag. Kung siguro, wala si Avi sa tabi ko sa mga nagdaang taon, malamang matagal na akong sumuko sa lahat.

"I hate seeing you like this. I hate it so much." She whispered. I lift my hand to reach her cheek when a single tear escaped from her eye.

"I am so in pain right now." I bit my lower lip with my most honest words this day. I badly want to open up. Kung hindi ko ito ilalabas, baka tuluyan na akong mabaliw. I need to depend on someone for now.