Dreaming Hollywood

Chapter 47

It's amazing how much six months have changed here.

In Italy I was a shy girl, without friends if not a true friend, unknown to all, with a past to forget and selfish like few people in the world, here in America I am still shy but not as before, with real friends, known  to the media, like the girl who ran away from the cameras but also like the girl of a super actor, I have a boyfriend who really loves me and not like everyone I had in Italy, I have a fantastic memory of these six months, except for the small parenthesis of  Central Park and the party but those were oversights, let's call them that, but especially in these months I have become altruistic as I have been few times, I have given up my happiness to make sure that another person continues and now I am sitting in  a pub with my boyfriend and my two closest friends who are falling in love, so mission accomplished, and what amazes me, scares me and excites me most is that I am finally going to realize my dream, I am going to become an actress, if they had told me six months ago I wouldn't have believed it in the least.

I remember like it was yesterday that my mom told me to take the suitcase and leave Italy, when I threw the computer in the suitcase after trying to do a similar audition, when I got here and I invented a plan to conquer Martin  and a role in a movie and then I regretted it when I realized I loved him, when for the first time I felt really strong emotions for someone who knocked down the armor that I had around my heart.

I am happy with my new life, it is as if I was born a third time, the second time was when I completely detoxified myself from all the things I was doing and that were ruining my life.  At the beginning I didn't even want to come to America, I was afraid to change everything too quickly, I was always afraid of changes, even if in reality all those that "I did" were all super positive, my problem is that when it changes  I always think something has happened to the misfortunes that led me to change that certain thing, first when mom met Sergio after my father's death, I didn't want a new dad, I wanted mine and I was afraid that Sergio would be like Cinderella's stepmother in a male version and instead gave me more affection than I deserved, then when I started the detoxification path, I was afraid to go back to thinking about my father and to go back to suffering from depression and, instead, I am also there  also recovered thanks to Sergio who helped me advising me excellent doctors who rely on and, finally, the change from Italy to America, at first we did not really come here, I was afraid of destroying my newly found life and instead if I had not come I would not have found this real life and all thanks to Sergio's new job.

Wait a minute, my whole improved life is due to him, it's thanks to him if I'm so happy now.

I believe in God, in the divine plan and in destiny.  What if all this had been a divine plan to make me improve my life?  It could be that actually Sergio is my guardian angel on Earth ... Wow I had never seen in this light, but I have to say it is very nice to think so, as the one who came here to improve my life.

Then a voice awakens me from my thoughts.

"Claudia? Everything OK? 'At least twenty minutes fixed the void without saying anything ..." was Martin who was concerned about me, maybe he also is my guardian angel.

"I love you guys. I was lucky to meet you."  I don't say anything else because at this moment the only thing I feel like saying is a simple "thank you" but that comes from the heart.

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Hi guys, here's chapter forty-seventh.

I hope you enjoyed this flow of consciousness of Claudia with all the "summary" of her life so far.

A kiss,

Altea