Bad Rumors

13

"Here you go." Roman smiled softly as he set a glass of ice water on the table. Virgil shifted awkwardly as Roman sighed. "I didn't poison it, if that's what you're wondering."

"No. I just..." Virgil frowned as he watched Roman sit across from him with a cup of tea. "I'm confused."

"About?" Roman took a sip trying hard to ignore just how shakey his hands were.

"You..." Virgil bit his lip slightly as he tried to work through his thoughts. "I'm confused about you."

"What about me?"

"Why aren't you mad?" Roman frowned as Virgil suddenly flinched as if his own words had scared him.

"Were you expecting me to be mad?" Virgil nodded quietly as he just stared at his cup. "Oh. I guess that's understandable."

"You didn't want... to p-participate." Roman sighed as he gently set his cup down watching the ripples in the tea from his hands. "You... You didn't w-want to... and... and you had a... well... you... had an attack didn't you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about actually." Virgil's eyes narrowed slightly with this soft yet frightened look as Roman shrugged. "I never had... whatever that was before. I just know, I couldn't breathe." Roman gulped slightly as his hands started shaking worse. "I couldn't breathe. I... I felt like my chest..." Roman winced slightly as he pressed a hand to his chest making Virgil jump slightly in concern. "It was really heavy like something was laying on it. The room was spinning and I felt really weak and shakey."

"Yeah... You had an attack. I have them all the time." Roman's eyes went wide as Virgil smiled awkwardly still avoiding his gaze. "I'm sorry. I really wasn't trying to. I... I just... I tried going slow. I didn't want to..." Virgil groaned as he shook his head before laughing. "Patton wasn't kidding. This is rough. I feel like... everything and I mean EVERYTHING is out to get me. I haven't felt this bad since I first showed up."

"Well... Patton said it should get better." Virgil shook his head as he shot Roman a look making the prince tense a bit.

"Not better. Easier." Roman nodded as he looked away and sighed. "So what's up with you? Why are you so... calm?"

"What do you mean?"

"I forced you to have an attack. You should be pissed. You should be yelling. You should be..." Roman held his hand up and Virgil's eyes dropped seeing the tremors Roman was having. "Why?"

"Virgil, we're partners. Regardless of what I say when my pride takes over..." Virgil quirked a brow as Roman just stared at his hand. "We are partners. I'm... I'm feeling a small bit of what you are." Virgil's eyes filled with horror as Roman groaned slightly and rolled his eyes. "Not nearly at the same amount but I am... anxious... jumpy... I don't know. I certainly don't feel very Princely right now... and that is... not good." 

"W-W-Why n-not?" Roman's eyes darkened as he gripped his cup even tighter.

"That's when my pride is the worst." Roman crashed as the air filled with a silence he'd never been able to handle. 

"I don't understand." Roman chuckled sadly as he nodded. "Logan said it was easier to see it as a separate person but..."

"It's not. It's still me." Virgil frowned as Roman took a deep breath trying really hard to work up the confidence to say what he had to. Virgil really should know. If they were supposed to work together, he had to know how to handle him. Even if Roman didn't think it was right... Virgil shouldn't have to deal with his mess. "It's not easy to explain but... I guess you could think about it this way... We are all sides of Thomas and even though we aren't a whole person, we ourselves have sides to us." Virgil nodded egging Roman on, who had visibly tensed. "You and Ja-... Deceit. You two are self-preservative sides to Thomas. Dee protects him emotionally and you protect him physically."

"Yeah, so... what does that have to do with..."

"Pride is one too." Virgil faltered as Roman just stared blankly at the table. He visibly swallowed his anxiety as he smiled making Virgil very concerned. "Pride is another form of self-preservation. It's not... the best but neither is denial really."

"What are you saying?"

"When you feel inadequate or worthless... when you feel less then you are or just... when your confidence is low, your response should be to help pick yourself up by looking at all the things that make you feel better about yourself. For example, if for some reason you wake up in the morning and you just don't like your eyes. The color... the shape... doesn't matter. You don't like it and it's making you feel bad. So, you look in the mirror and you do your make up just perfect, or your hair is just right and everything is better again because even though you didn't like how your eyes looked you can't even notice it anymore because something else looks perfect. Does that make sense?"

"No. But I think I can understand what you're getting at." Roman let out a relief filled breath as he smiled slimly. Virgil frowned in confusion as Roman let his cup go and just sat there holding his hands tightly. "Roman... what does that have to do with you though? If you as pride are a way to protect Thomas from the bad things he sees in himself... how does that affect you?"

"We are what we inspire, Virgil. You yourself are affected by your anxiety, aren't you?" Virgil nodded with this worried yet understanding look in his eyes. "Then isn't it safe to say that so would I? I mean... Even Jan... fuck, sorry. Deceit is affected by his quirks. He lies all the time to protect himself and others."

"You know you can say his name, right?" Roman quickly shook his head as he laughed.

"Fu-... Heck no. I'm not having him come at me for it. He hasn't told anyone yet and I'm not going to be the one to do so." Virgil actually smiled as Roman chuckled softly. "I may be prideful and stupid but I'm not self-destructive. If I piss off the snake I get the rat as well."

"True, Remus is very protective of us." Roman's eyes shined slightly as Virgil giggled. "I remember someone had yelled at me causing me to have a bit of an attack. He filled their entire house with rats." 

"I would have filled their conditioner with hair dye." Virgil's eyes went wide as Roman smiled. "You're supposed to leave it in for a while so... One minute they have brown hair or whatever and the next bright green!" 

"Of course you would." The two fell into a fit of giggles as Roman took another sip of his tea just relaxing into the air around them. It was nice. Roman actually liked it. But... there was something he really wanted to bring up... before Virgil ended up back into his room.

"Hey, Virge?" Virgil frowned hearing the anxiousness in the other as Roman's eyes darkened. "You... I wanted to... Um... Shi-... Shoots. I really don't know how to ask this." Roman twitched slightly before shaking his head and groaning as he tried to tune out his more prideful thoughts. "Virgil, I want to know more about the Dark side." Virgil tensed suddenly, eyes wide, as he shook. "I... I know you might not want to talk about it right now because of everything your feeling and stuff but... Actually, I... I don't want to talk about it."

"Roman..."

"I want to actually go there." Roman bit his lip as he tried to work through his thoughts. "In disguise obviously. I don't want to scare anyone but... I... I don't... I'm a prince, god damn it! I should know how to fucking speak!" Roman pushed himself up and against the wall before letting out a shaky breath to calm himself down. He glanced over to see the complete fear in the younger and he broke. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell. I just couldn't get out of my head for a second there."

"I-It's-s f-fine." Roman deflated as he hugged himself ignoring how bad just him yelling had sent Virgil spiraling.

"I want to see what it's like over there first hand. You were right. I haven't been caring for your people like I should have. I want to fix that, but I don't know where to start." Virgil frowned slightly as Roman met his eyes with a very serious and painfilled gaze. "I need you to show me where. Please?"