I'M A MESS

CHAPTER 43

Jennie's POV

I'm a crying mess right now. I really can't believe I saw Seulgi with Irene and worst, they left together pa after seeing me. Just the sight of my girlfriend held her ex's wrist and pulled her outside the store is enough for me to be afraid of the possibilities na baka magkabalikan pa sila. Ang daming pangyayari since yesterday and I don't think I can process it all at once nang hindi naguguluhan.

Halo halo ang nararamdaman ko ngayon, i'm sad, i'm mad, i'm feeling insecure, afraid of what's about to happen next and many more. I wanted to blame all of this to Lisa. Totoo naman eh, Lisa started this mess, pero may kasalanan din ako for not telling Seulgi right away and ang tanga tanga ko for that. Siguro if I told her right away na my ex has been pestering me, hindi na sana kami siguro aabot sa punto na bigla nalang susulpot si Lisa out of nowhere para pilitin akong makipag-balikan sakanya and then halikan ako in front of my doorstep in the middle of the night. Pero dahil masyado akong nagmamarunong na akala ko I can handle this situation pretty well by my own, shit happened.

"Jen, enough crying na. Come here na oh eat your food na before it gets col—"

"How many times do I have to tell you na ayoko nga Lisa?! Anong part ng sinabi ko ang hindi mo maintindihan? Tangina naman namomroblema na nga ako dito tapos you being a proud gago, kinukulit parin ako?! "

Yes, Lisa is still here with me nga pala and being the hard headed she is, ayaw niya parin akong tigilan. Napaka kapal lang talaga ng mukha niya, siya na nga 'tong may kasalanan ng lahat ayaw niya paring magpatinag.

"I just wanna make sure that you're fine and—"

"I'M DOING FINE LISA! MY LIFE'S BEEN VERY FINE WITH SEULGI, NOT UNTIL YOU START PESTERING ME AND TRIED TO GET ME BACK TO YOU!" sigaw ko sakanya.

She just sighed and put down the food that she's been trying to give me kanina.

"Jen, you know naman na—"

"I don't wanna hear anything from you Lisa! You ruined everything! Are you happy now?! That you ruined my relationship with Seulgi? I don't think that there's a valid reason for you to do that kasi ilang taon na nakakalipas Lisa, for pete's sake. Kung kailan masaya na ako tsaka mo pa ko ulit guguluhin? Don't even try to tell me na sobrang pinagsisihan mo yung kagaguhan mo noon kasi kahit ano pang gawin mo, you can never change my decision because you already lost your chance a long time ago! Kung sana ako yung pinili mo over Irene noon edi tangina sana sayo parin ako umuuwi ngayon! Sana hindi ka na nagmumukhang kawawa at desperada na naninira ng relasyon ngayon! " I yelled at her.

Hindi ko na mapigilan, i'm really mad right now and gusto ko nalang ibuntong sakanya lahat ng galit ko.

"Jen, just please, please let me—" she tried pulling me close to her but I slapped her, so hard, that made her lips bleed. My eyes widened when I realized that i'm wearing a ring at yun ang posibleng nakasugat sakanya. Napapikit lang siya sakit at napahawak sa labi niya.

Nagulat naman ako sa ginawa ko when I saw blood dripping down from her lips. Alam ko galit ako sakanya at talagang nabu-bwisit ako pero I never intend to hurt her that bad. I suddenly feel guilty about it kaya lumapit ako sakanya at inalis yung kamay niya para makita yung sugat niya.

"Omg Lisa i- -i'm really sorry. I—" panicking, I held her face with both of my hands while checking the cut I caused to her lips.

She only chuckled and smiled at me.

"I deserve that. " she muttered kaya I glared at her for a second at binalik ang tingin ko sa sugat niya.