🩹scared | taegyu

🩹fourteen

scarred hands

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

taehyun feels restless. uncomfortable in his own skin. he's fidgeting on his bed. beomgyu is yawning quietly next to him as they read over some test material together.

taehyun's book is on his lap and he has been trying to read the same paragraph for ten minutes, but he can't remember a single word of what he just read. 

he's rubbing his heels together and looking around his room. his sweaty, bare-feet make a squeaky noise as they rub together. beomgyu sighs in annoyance. taehyun feels like a waste of space. cracking his knuckles as his stomach ache grows. he feels nauseous again.

"taehyun, pack it in!" beomgyu snaps and taehyun looks down. he stops what he's doing with his feet, but the stomach ache continues to grow. instead he taps his feet in the air. 

"sorry." he whispers in a small voice. his feet are itching to be kicking around again and it's hard to control. beomgyu sends him a weird look.

taehyun fiddles with the plaster on his thumb. gnawing at the bottom of his lip as his eyes flicker across the room. at least his posters were nice, that's worth something isn't it? he feels uneasy as he continues to pretend like he's actually studying. 

"are you alright?" beomgyu suddenly asks, putting down his book. arefully placing a hand on taehyun's shoulder. the younger is sweating and rubs his feet together anxiously. 

"yeah-yeah, hyung, of course i'm fine." he states as if it's obvious. of course beomgyu doesn't believe him, looking him up and down as he takes a sip of water. 

taehyun calms down after a few minutes, but they aren't very productive. the younger wipes his palms on his trousers. scratching his nose as he glances over at beomgyu. said boy is quietly lulling in and out of sleep, bobbing his head back and forth. 

taehyun laughs and the older jolts awake. 

studying is pretty boring, they think to themselves. they always stick to what they're supposed to do. it's boring, just like school. and beomgyu knows taehyun isn't even studying. the older looks over at him and can already tell he's zoning out, thinking about something irrelevant to the topic they're studying. 

"taehyun?" beomgyu says, closing his book as he looks up at the younger.

"yeah?" taehyun answers, snapping his head downwards, pretending like he's reading. 

"should we do something else? this is getting quite boring, i think you know pretty much eveything." taehyun nods, knowing full well he doesn't know anything they've been practising, nor does he want to know. 

"mhm- okay," taehyun says, closing his own book. 

"what should we do?" beomgyu asks, sitting up on the bed. the plastic mattress cover crunches under him. taehyun cringes, biting his bottom lip as he forces his gaze away from the other, staring at the wall. please don't ask, please don't ask. please don't-

"don't be embarrassed-" beomgyu says, patting taehyun's bed.

" my sister also needs sheets like these. it's nothing to be ashamed of, bedwetting is a hard habit to get rid of." beomgyu continues as the younger cringes even more. his face is burning and beet red. squeezing his eyes shut, he can't look beomgyu in the eyes right now. 

"that's-that's not why-" taehyun forces out, trying not to cry. his stomach hurts, he is already feeling nauseous and icky. 

"ooh-?" beomgyu says, raising his brows a little. 

"i'm sick a lot, it's just to protect the mattress." taehyun explains, still squeezing his eyes shut. beomgyu's mouth forms an 'o'. 

"well that's okay as well. mattresses are expensive." 

an odd silence falls upon them. there isn't anything to say, they don't really want to say anything either. taehyun is still trying to calm the redness in his face as they hear the front door unlock. 

taehyun's mum is home, finally. a few bags are placed on the kitchen floor, then they hear her steps approach taehyun's bedroom. the door opens quietly. taehyun looks at her, smiling as she pokes her head through the crack in the door. 

beomgyu looks up too, but instead of smiling, he flinches. he is biting into his cheek as he bows in her direction. his palms begin to sweat and his heart rate quickens. 

"hi, you must be beomgyu." when she smiles her eyes turn into half moons and her apple cheeks are on full display. beomgyu nods, with widened eyes. he thinks she's pretty, but it doesn't calm him down. 

"hello." he forces out. 

"i'm hyejin, taehyun's mum." she says, bowing as well. beomgyu looks at her for a split second, but then forces his eyes towards the floor. taehyun furrows his brows. why was he scared all of a sudden?

"are you two hungry yet?" hyejin asks with a smile, oblivious to beomgyu's frightened expression. said boy, grips onto taehyun's bedframe. scraping his nails into the wood. 

"yeah, when's tea time?"taehyun asks, looking away from beomgyu and towards his mum. beomgyu is still forcing his eyes to the floor, refusing to meet the woman's friendly gaze. his knuckles are turning white and his chest is tightening. 

"in about half an hour, maybe.." she says.

"i'll try to keep it down in the kitchen so your studying isn't interrupted. study well-" she smiles sweetly before closing the door again. her footsteps grow distant and beomgyu lets out a breath he doesn't know he's holding.  

"are you alright, hyung?" taehyun asks, the older nods slightly. releasing his hard grip around taehyun's bedframe. sighing as he starts to pick at the broken nails. blood trickles from his finger as he fight back the tears.

"oh my god. you're bleeding." taehyun exlaims, quickly opening his night-stands drawer. he pulls out a box of plasters. beomgyu is calming down, taking deep breaths as he tries to soothe his anxiety.

taehyun moves closer, taking out a plaster from the box, carefully unwrapping it. gently taking the older's hand, wrapping it around his bleeding ring finger. his hands are sweaty. taehyun tries not to put the plaster on too tight. 

"are you scared of my mum?" beomgyu looks down, he doesn't want to answer. but taehyun quickly forgets he asked, because he notices something far more concerning as he studies the older's hand. 

beomgyu's hand decorated with small freckles, chewed down nails and white scars. as taehyun observes further, he thinks they're scarring cuts. his fingers are lined with stripes, so is the back of his hand. some are small, others are large and seem deeper than the others. 

"how did you get these scars?" he asks and beomgyu quickly pulls his hand away. 

"they're from tripping over mid-sprint at track practise."

weird, taehyun thinks to himself. wouldn't the scars be in the palms of his hands if he caught himself mid-sprint?

☁️