🩹scared | taegyu

🩹twenty-seven

a tingly chest and feeling drained

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

taehyun kicks his feet back and forth on the picnic bench in the schoolyard. he left class fifteen minutes before it ended, but the others will soon be out too. running around and chatting with their friends in their break. 

taehyun usually doesn't see anyone in his breaks. he'll hide in his classroom or in the library. even though he could be with beomgyu and the others. it's just a little too much sometimes. but today, he isn't bothered. he's feeling nauseous and the fresh air relieves him. he can't just stand up and go inside. 

a familiar figure exits from the usual red door and waves at taehyun as they spot each other. beomgyu,  taehyun feels that familar tingle in his chest as the older smiles at him. the sun blinds taehyun and makes his eyes sparkle. 

beomgyu skips over to him and sits down by his side. taehyun's skin feels warm as beomgyu's thigh brushes against his. it doesn't burn, it doesn't feel like those fanfictions huening kai reads talks about touches. it's just nice, it's just really, really nice. 

"why are you out so early?" beomgyu asks, pointing at his watch. 

"i was feeling a bit sick, and you?" taehyun asks. 

"kicked out by the teacher again." the other answers, cracking his knuckles. 

they stay quiet, taehyun doens't know what to say. but the the warmth continues to blossom in his chest as beomgyu leans even closer to him, pointing at something in the air. 

"look, hyun! there's a butterfly." the older whispers, pointing at a white butterfly fluttering past them. "wow, it's so pretty out here." 

they grow silent again, watching the butterfly dance around them. beomgyu doesn't move from his spot, and taehyun feels their cheeks graze each others.he catches himself imagining the things that'll never happen between them. what am i even thinking?

"isn't it nice that i'm keeping you company? i thought you looked rather lonely out here, all by yourself." beomgyu continues to ramble on after the butterfly flutters out of sight. 

"i like spending time alone." taehyun whispers, listening to the rustle of the nearby trees. watching as the birds peck at a piece of bread someone has dropped in the school yard. 

"it isn't lonely. because i'm here," taehyun continues, "for me it's enough to just be with myself." 

"so you'd rather be alone? like instead of being with us?" beomgyu says, his voice is low and he almost sounds disappointed. 

"sometimes, it really just depends. being around you is sometimes tiring. and it doesn't make me as happy as it makes you." taehyun says, looking over at the older. 

"it takes all of my energy and makes me really tired." taehyun adds, but immediately regrets the way he has chosen to phrase his sentences. 

"i can leave-" beomgyu says, standing up with a quiet huff.

"it didn't come out the way i meant it." taehyun grabs the sleeve of the others blazer, tugging him back down onto the bench.

"you make me happy, hyung." he says, looking beomgyu in the eyes, "the others too, but no one makes me happier than you do." 

beomgyu looks down at the picnic bench, with a growing grin. quietly picking at the loose pieces of wood. and his lips form a pout as he concentrates and taehyun feels his heart swell in his chest.