🩹scared | taegyu

🩹fifty-eight

scars; our thing.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

taehyun feels shy as he wraps his duvet over his shoulders. beomgyu lays quietly on the mattress on the floor, next to his bed. it's their first night alone, together. and taehyun doesn't know how to act. 

"hyung?" taehyun whispers, "are you sleeping?"

he doesn't even know why he's whispering. it's just the two of them in the house. 

"we just laid down, taehyun, do you think i'm sleeping?" beomgyu scoffs, but taehyun can hear that he has smile on his face. 

"well, no, but i had to check." 

there's a draft from the window tha sends chills down beomgyu's spine. he hates windy days, they're so noisy. the lights are off too, beomgyu shakes a little under his duvet, but doesn't want to bother taehyun. 

"are you scared, hyung?" taehyun asks, sensing something is wrong. 

"a little," beomgyu whispers in return, reaching out his hand for taehyun to hold. 

"let's talk until you fall asleep." the younger smiles, taking the other's hand.  

"are you excited for our date tomorrow?" he asks to distract beomgyu from the darkness and bad weather. 

"very," beomgyu says as the heavy rain continues to pour. knocking on the windows as if it wants to be let in and sounds like it's planning on breaking the glass. 

"what do you have planned?" taehyun asks, full of excitement. 

"it's a secret." 

"hyuung!" taehyun whines, "tell me!" 

"no, go to sleep." 

"no, go to sleep first. i have to make sure you feel safe, fall asleep quickly." taehyun says, yelping as lightning brightly lights up his entire bedroom for a split second. beomgyu tightens his grip on his hand. 

"it's scary down here." beomgyu says, squeezing taehyun hand even tighter as thunder roars outside. 

"you've probably got monsters under your bed and the thunder isn't helping!" beomgyu whisper-screams as another strike of lightning scares the both of them. 

"can i lay in bed with you, please, hyun." beomgyu sniffles from his mattress. 

"you're unbelievable, hyung." taehyun laughs, letting go of beomgyu's hand to lift his duvet. 

beomgyu doesn't move, he whimpers as the other lets go of his hand. he doesn't know what to do, because can't see anything in the dark. 

"what are you waiting for, get in, dumbass." taehyun says, scooting closer to the wall to make room for his boyfriend-to-be. 

beomgyu jumps into bed and wraps his arms securely around taehyun, who yelps at the sudden action. "thank you for always keeping me safe." 

taehyun blushes at beomgyu's words, hugging him back. his hand travels up and down the older's back as the thunder roars outside. "you keep me safe too, hyung. it's our thing."

beomgyu moves around a bit, into a more comfortable position. and now their faces are super close. taehyun can feel his breath on his face. his hair smells of rain and the late blooming flowers. 

"i still don't have to be your boyfriend to kiss you, right?" beomgyu asks quietly. and instead of giving an answer taehyun kisses him. 

beomgyu tastes of mouthwash and warmth. taehyun doesn't feel as insecure about what he smells, tastes or feels like to beomgyu anymore. but some mornings he still worries about sweating in the night, drool all over his face or bad breath. but that's not often. 

the older's fingers are tangled in taehyun's hair, the younger gets carried away by the tingling sensation and kisses beomgyu harder. and in a blink of an eye beomgyu finds himself on top of taehyun. they can't hear the wind anymore, just their own uneven breaths between each other lips. 

taehyun leans over to his bedside table and turns on his night light. and beomgyu pulls away from their kiss with a confused expression, but smiles as taehyun explains why, "i just want to see your face." 

it takes a few seconds for their eyes to get used to the sudden change of lighting. but when beomgyu's do, his heart skips a beat. and he bets taehyun's heart does the same. 

beomgyu loves the way taehyun looks right now. his eyes are glistening happily in the yellow light, he has never looked this happy before. taehyun's cheeks are tinted pink and a few pearls of sweat run down his face. he looks so pretty.

taehyun feels his pulse in his neck as beomgyu looks down at him from where he's sitting on his waist. not because he's scared, but because he never wants this to end. he loves the way beomgyu looks up close. he loves the way beomgyu feels this close. 

"hyung," taehyun calls out and his breath hitches as he watches beomgyu pull off his t-shirt. 

in the yellow light taehyun can see how broken beomgyu is underneath his clothes. how his ribs poke unnaturally out of his chest, how the purple finger marks decorate his arms and how painful it must feel to be touched by others, even by taehyun. 

his stomach isn't flat, it's almost an empty hole between his chest and hips. he has scars simmilar to the ones on his hands painted across his chest. taehyun traces his index from beomgyu's jaw down to his belly button, it sends shivers down the others back. 

"are my scars distracting?" beomgyu asks with an unreadable expression. 

"i'm scared of hurting you." taehyun answers, suddenly feeling teary-eyed. 

"you're not hurting me." beomgyu answers, noticing the other's watery eyes. he starts pulling at the bottom of taehyun's t-shirt, asking for permission to take it off with his eyes. taehyun nods, trying to sit up so it'll be easier for the other. 

"i have scars too, hyung." taehyun says, sitting up completely. beomgyu's arms drop as he sees the scars across taehyun's chest. 

"i didn't know." beomgyu whispers, touching the biggest one underneath taehyun's belly button. 

he kisses taehyun carefully, now he's also worried about hurting the other.

"i thought people would be happy if i was gone." taehyun whispers back. they're back to whispering, well, that is how one usually tells someone a secret after all. 

"i thought no one would notice if they were on my stomach." he says, tracing beomgyu's scars in return, "but i guess you found out after all."

beomgyu doesn't say anything, but taehyun knows he's in pain. and before they know it, they're both in tears. taehyun holds beomgyu by his waist, he feels the older shake under his touch. what a turn of events. 

"we always cry on each other's behalf." taehyun laughs with teary eyes. beomgyu wraps his arms around his shoulders and pulls him close. the older smiles as he feels taehyun's heartbeat on his chest and says; 

"i know, it's our thing." 
  

☁️
 

thank you for 50k reads! i can't believe my tiny book suddenly became this big, it's my dream come true! i feel so grateful towards all of you!

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