🩹scared | taegyu

🩹thirty-nine

green beans and an aching heart

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

(my twitter handle is in my bio in case you want to be friends. shameless self promo, lol i'm just a little lonely )
  

"fucking finally." he mutters under his breath as the school bell sings it's last tune of the day. standing up with relief as the teacher tells them class is over. 

beomgyu looks around the classroom, soobin is absent, no one to leave class with. yeonjun is taking exams until three and huening kai's class are on a trip to the museum. and he can't face taehyun, not after what happened the other day. no one to walk home with. 

beomgyu walks home alone. the wind creeps down his neck and stings in his ears. "this is kind of deserved. isn't it beomgyu? you're kind of shit." 

    

"jaehyun.. sweety, i don't think that taehyung boy should come around anymore." beomgyu clutches his fork in his hand as he listens to his stepmum talk. 

they're at the dinner table. everyone is sitting quietly eating, except for her. 

"it's taeyong." jaehyun corrects her quietly. but she ignores him, maybe she didn't even notice he said anything?

"i've seen the way he looks at you . and quite frankly, i don't want taehyeong around you. he's up to something."

"it's taeyong." jaehyun says a little louder. smoothing down his mashed potato with his knife, sighing, he knows she won't shut up about him. 

"huh?-" she asks, but jaehyun doesn't bother repeating himself. 

"anyway- tell your teacher to get you another partner for the project. a girl! you should get a girlfriend. so he knows when to back off. i don't want taeseok in my home, he makes me uncomfortable."

"it's taeyong for god's sake! LEE TAEYONG. and it's just a dumb project and i wanted to partner up with him! he's my friend! leave him alone!" jaehyun yells, his face is red and his jaw is clenched. 

it takes the others by the table by surprise. jaehyun is usually quiet and just takes all the insults she spews at him. but today is different. he has had enough. 

beomgyu bites the inside of his cheek as he sees the glare she sends in her son's direction. if he hadn't pulled away from taehyun's kiss, he would've had to lie at the dinner table like this eventually. just watching his stepbrother do it, hurts his feelings. 

"we'll wrap up the project up in a few weeks. stay calm, mum. he isn't going to come onto me!" jaehyun says, slamming his fist on the table. 

"don't get cheeky with me young man!" she yells back and dahyun jumps in her chair. 

beomgyu's dad acts completely oblivious to the yelling and continues eating his potatoes. isn't a dad supposed to step in now? isn't a parent supposed to step in now?

"please, can i leave the table?" beomgyu asks politely, pushing his plate of half-eaten dinner away from himself. he feels sick to his stomach as he watches jaehyun ball his fists. he lives such an unfair life because of his mum. 

"you certainly can not." she scoffs, turning her attention towards her stepson. pointing a long finger at his plate.
 

  

tw: weight, body

"you haven't finished your beans." 

"i don't like b"

"you'll gain ugly weight if you don't eat healthy." she butts in, emphasizing on the word ugly. 

"but i-" 

"how come i'm not seeing any green beans making their way into your mouth yet?" 

beomgyu's stomach twists as he forces the beans down. his stepmum watches him with hawk eyes and jaehyun shrinks into his chair. he's usually a quiet, giant. but today he's a loud, giant with bad posture. 

"is this good enough?" beomgyu asks.

"open your mouth." he does, it's empty. he's almost eighteen, but she acts as if he's four years old. he gulps down the rest of his water from his tall glass when she's finished inspecting his mouth.  

"you can go now." she sneers, "remember to put you plate away properly."

"i will." 

 
   

beomgyu stands in the middle of his small bedroom. pulling up his t-shirt to inspect his stomach in his full length mirror. he's skinny, very skinny. his ribs poke out of his chest even when he relaxes, but he feels bad about himself. he feels too big. 

"you're not gaining any weight, beomgyu. you're perfect the way you are. choi beomgyu, you're excactly how you're supposed to be. you're nice, you're not big. you're the perfect size for a beomgyu."

he says to himself, patting his chest to comfort himself. all these bad thoughts are occupying his mind. he misses all the happy thoughts. and all the happy thoughts about taehyun.

his bedroom door opens and he drops his shirt. jaehyun pokes his head inside, he has a sad look on his face. "don't let her words affect you. you're the size you're meant to be." 

"was that all you wanted to say?" beomgyu says. he knows jaehyun definetly has something else on his mind. 

"ehmm....could you please cover for me?" he asks guiltily. 

"tell mum i'm at the library studying or something. i really want to see taeyong. please, beom. i know you don't really like me and that you hate lying. but just this once. an important member of his family just passed away, he needs my support..."

"of course, jae. i'd cover for you any day, any time. just please don't punch me again." beomgyu says with a chuckle. and jaehyun breaks out into an embarrassed smile. " and send my condolences to him. i know he loves ruby a lot." 

"i promise i won't punch you again. and i will, he needs me." 

beomgyu watches jaehyun leave with a sad smile on his face. the older lies to his mum, but has a secret, loving relationship with a best friend. how come it works out for him? how come i can't make it work out?

"i don't want hyun to see her. or talk to her. that's why. i'm keeping him safe. i'm keeping his safe from her hurting his feelings."

but then beomgyu makes a painful realization that makes his heart ache,

"but i'm hurting him by keeping him safe." 

☁️

rest happy ruby.

remember ily all. and that i'm staying strong for you. lately i've just wanted to give up on everything. but i love you, and i can't give up. i refuse to.

what's your victory this week?
i aced my spanish glossary test ♡