🩹scared | taegyu

🩹forty-six

you're alright.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

"are you a new student, kang taehyun? i haven't seen you before," 

the substitute has a loud, scary voice, contrasting to his scrawny build. he scrapes his fingernail across a stain on the yellowing paper. the classroom is so quiet, every student can hear each other breathe. they all know the man sitting behind seulgi's desk. and they all hate him. 

"yes." taehyun says in a small voice. feeling nervous as the teacher continues to scan over the sheets of paper in the large folder marked 10B students. 

"mum, ahn hyejin? emergency contact ahn hyejin and kim yongsun?" he continues in an audible whisper and huening kai raises a brow. taehyun doesn't understand why he's still reading his student file. 

"mhm." taehyun lets out, gripping his desk's leg with a shaking fist. the bubbling pit in his stomach grows, it burns his insides as he tries to stay calm. he feels scared, because he doesn't know how much is the subsitute going to read out loud.

the man scrunches his nose, displaying all the forehead wrinkles he has collected over the years. he adjusts his dreadful tupé and continues snooping through taehyun's information form. 

"and this is your fourth school in two years?" the old man asks, seemingly forgetting that they're in the middle of class. and to keep his mouth shut about taehyun's private business. 

some students start whispering quietly in the back of the classroom, inventing reasons why taehyun has switched schools so often. some assume he's a delinquent, or just plain dumb. taehyun feels ashamed about his reasoning, it's seems pitiful and stupid compared to their grand ideas.  

"can we move on with the attendance roll?" huening kai asks with an angry voice. they've had the same substitute before, and he remembers the old man being a nosey parker who can't keep his voice down. 

"i don't think i called for you to speak, huening." the substitute bites. 

"it's huening kai." the younger barks back. 

taehyun's breathing quickens as the old man flips the pages in the folder. reading through the long interviews and private conversations he and seulgi has had. but he knows it isn't her fault that the substitute has the information, she has to log their conversations to let his mum know he's alright. 

"and you're reading his health records too?" ryujin asks, "what are you? some sort of pervy psycho?"

"leave tyun alone." huening kai adds, balling his fists. 

taehyun feels his heart warm a tad, they're sticking up for him. the substitute scoffs as the bile rises in taehyun's throat. his face is three shades lighter than two minutes ago and he swears he's turning green. 

"did i or did i not call your name?" he almost shouts, marking a red note for huening kai and ryujin in his notebook. taehyun jumps in his seat and almost throws up in his mouth. but ryujin and huening kai look even angrier than him. 

"absence from class is a regular occurrence i see, kang." taehyun holds his breath as his seatmate is about to explode. 

"that won't be allowed as long as i'm teaching this class."

taehyun retches in his seat. swalloing the sour flavour of vomit as he jumps out of his seat. the substitute sends him a glare as tears fall from his eyes. 

"i need the bathroom." he chokes on his saliva as he says it. trying his best to fight the loud sobs that his mouth threatens to let out. and then he hurries out the door. 

but there is no where to go. no one to go to. he needs seulgi. he needs his mommy. he needs someone. anyone will do. he can't be alone right now. 

taehyun trips over his own feet as he tries to get as far away from his classroom as possible. crashing to the floor as his tears blind him. he wants to scream, instead he bites down into his hand to quiet down the sobs escaping his mouth. 

it hurts, everything hurts. taehyun is so fucking sick of this feeling. the feeling of drowning even when he's surrounded by air. he can't breathe anymore, the pressure in his chest is just too unbearable. 

how is he not dead yet? how has he chosen to live through this hell for so long? what is wrong with him? 

"make it stop!" the sobs rip out of his throat, every breath of air is like knives jabbing into his lungs.

he bawls his eyes out in the hallway as curious students peek their heads out from the classroom doors. but taehyun couldn't care less. trapped in a state of panic, unable to breathe. there is no time to care about what others think, not now. 

he bites into his hand again as he falls into a heap, huddling closer to the locker by his side. snot clogs his throat and nose, leaving him to heave for air, suffocating in the hallway. why is he like this?

the sound of students nearing in the other end of the hall emerges. loud footsteps come from the far end of the hallway. a shallow voice yells out taehyun's name, but he can't recognise who it is. his heartbeat drums in his ears as the steps quicken. a pair of shoes clack against the floor as taehyun is suffocating. 

he gasps for air, as if coming up from the surface of the sea, as he's pulled up into a tight hold. taehyun latches onto whoever it is. he doesn't open his eyes, he just needs comfort. his hair tingles as the other strokes his head, quietly hushing taehyun to stop his endless tears.  

maybe he's screaming, or perfectly silent. he can't tell, because his ears are ringing like a gunshot has gone off. everything turns quiet as he feels himself being calmy lulled by the other. 

taehyun wishes that it is who he wants it to be. and it's only when the tears stop coming and he finally calms down, he knows who these arms belong to.

"hyung." taehyun croaks out painfully.

"you're okay, hyunnie. i'm here. beomgyu hyung is here, you're alright."

☁️