🩹scared | taegyu

🩹thirty-two

i couldn't let the two of us forget about her.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

"taehyun?" beomgyu whispers, tightening his grip around his duvet. 

"are you awake?" 

the fear is unbearable, beomgyu feels almost as if he's dying. his hands are sweating and he can't breathe. taehyun's bedroom is dark, beomgyu can't see anything what so ever. and that frightens him. what if he isn't alone with taehyun?

"he's still next to me." beomgyu chants to himself, biting into his lip as the sound of a car door shutting comes from outside. 

"taehyun is still here, right next to me," beomgyu's tears won't stop falling, "i'm not alone. taehyun is right here."

he lies awake for what feels like an eternity. the tears prickle down his cheeks as the fear hugs him like a blanket. a horrible, dark blanket. everything is so cold all of a sudden. 

"i can't stay here, not like this."

beomgyu carefully gets out of bed, balling his fists as he hastily exits taehyun's bedroom. his feet drag quitly against the floor and he looks around. the lights are on in the living room, but there is no sight of taehyun's mum.

"hyejin?" he whispers, walking over to the stairs. quiet sounds of moving around and placing things around is heard from upstairs. 

"hyejin, are you awake?" beomgyu's voice cracks and he quietly prays for her to be awake. he walks up the stairs with small, gentle steps. making little to no sound as he walks down the lit up hallway. 

"hyejin? taehyun's mommy?" he calls out for her louder. wiping his falling tears as he stops outside what he assumes is her bedroom. 

"beomgyu? is that you?" she asks, sounding completely awake in the middle of the night.

"yes," he lets out, poking his head in through the crack in the door "i can't sleep."

hyejin is sitting on her bed, a large book in her hands and reading glasses on her nose. she's half under the duvet and half out. a lamp on her bedside table is the only source of light, it's a cozy bedroom. but beomgyu is scared. 

hyejin is looking at beomgyu with a worried look on her face. and when she waves him into the room, he feels everything fall to pieces. but he isn't scared of her, not anymore, never ever again. she's a safe place. and she's inviting him in. 

"ooh! come in blossom." she says, quickly closing her book and patting the spot next to her. 

beomgyu carefully makes his way into her bedroom. he sniffles his nose and wipes his eyes with the sleeves of his sweater. hyejin turns on the lamp on the opposite bedside table, to light up the room properly. 

beomgyu sits down at the end of her bed. and he can't control the tears anymore. he wears a pained expression and hyejin moves closer to him, carefully hugging him as he cries quietly. beomgyu doesn't know the last time any woman had held him like this. and made him feel safe. hyejin is safe.  

"why can't you sleep?" hyejin asks, releasing him from her hug. she moves further back on the bed, remembering beomgyu gets nervous around her. beomgyu looks down at the  duvet, scrunching the floral bedsheets between his fingers.  

"i'm scared." he whispers. 

"scared of what?" she asks, rubbing soothing circles on his back. 

"of the dark." he mutters under his breath. 

"have you been scared of the dark for a long time?" 

"ever since i was little." beomgyu whispers, closing his eyes as the painful memories of his childhood fill his head. 

"it brings back bad memories." hyejin nods understandingly and beomgyu shuffles a bit closer to her. they don't say anything, they don't really know what to say. 

"taehyun used to be really scared of the dark too." hyejin says, "and i don't know if he has told you, but when he's anxious, he feels nauseous. so he used to be sick a lot." 

"but after he started going to school with you and your friends, his anxiety has calmed down tremendously." she has a smile on her face as she speaks. and beomgyu slowly makes his way towards her. drying his cheeks with a small smile on his face. 

he sits down next to her and they both lean back on the headboard. beomgyu tugs at the hem of his sweater. and hyejin carefully pats his back. the boy continues to quietly sniffles his nose, shuffling a little bit closer and closer to the woman as the minutes tick by. 

beomgyu doesn't need to say anything. he likes being wide awake in a well lit up bedroom. espeially when taehyun's mum is comforting him. 

"do you have any idea of why taehyun came home so early the other day?" hyejin suddenly asks, caressing beomgyu's grey hair. it tickles his head and he can't help but smile. 

"hmm.. huening kai's parents were wondering why your last names aren't the same. and taehyun was having a hard time explaining, so i told them to drop it." 

hyejin nods understnadingly. of course, she understands why that made taehyun nervous and sick. but beomgyu doesn't understand why. he just knows that he should ask about it. 

"thank you for telling them to stop asking about it. you must've been confused." hyejin says, patting beomgyu's locks gently. and he leans into her touch without realizing it himself. 

"he looked really worried. so i thought it was the right time to step in."beomgyu says, the fact that hyejin praised him for sticking up for her son makes his heart feel happy. 

"i bet he's super grateful for that. i just hope he doesn't go around worrying about things like that."

"does it affect him that much?" beomgyu asks, looking up at her through his fringe. he wipes his sweaty palms on the floral duvet as she nods. 

"mhm, it's his mum's last name, kang si-ra. she was my best friend. we were supposed to take over the world together." hyejin says, "but then she got pregnant before we had even left for university."

"it wasn't on purpose, but she knew she couldn't give up the baby. and i knew i had to be there for her every step of the way. we loved the little baby in her belly. and i still love him so, so much." hyejin smiles, her eyes glisten with tears as she remembers her best friend. 

"but she had a..-"she inhales a shaky breath as she tries to explain.

"she had a tumor, in her brain and it was discovered too late. and she told me, just.. just days before she took her last breath;  i had always been taehyun's second mum, that i was meant to look after him if something went wrong."

"and when it did, we said goodbye one last time and then taehyun was my baby. and i realized that maybe it would be fine if just me and taehyun took over the world. " 

"and he kept her last name?" beomgyu whispers, "that's so nice."

"i always knew he was a kang. no matter what others thought, i couldn't let the two of us forget about her."

☁️

~ character development ~

please bare with me and cheer me on. i love you and please stay safe.

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