🩹scared | taegyu

🩹thirty-three

my door is always open for you

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

hyunnie
hyung? can we hang out today?

soobie 🧸
just the two of us?

hyunnie
yeah
if that's alright

soobie 🧸
ofc it is 

-

taehyun quietly stirs the ice cubes in his iced coffee with a metal straw. chewing on his bottom lip. soobin returns from the till with a tray in his hands. gently placing it down on the table in front of taehyun, before sitting down across from him. 

soobin hands taehyun a plate with a large almond biscuit on it, with a smile playing at his lips. the older pushes up his glasses and takes a sip of his vanilla milkshake. (the best flavour sorry not sorry)

"why did you want to see me all of a sudden?" soobin asks, "i always thought you didn't like me that much."

"don't be stupid! you're mad cool, hyung." taehyun smiles, damn that was cringey.

"you really think so?" soobin smiles shyly, poking his straw into an unblended scoop of ice cream in his drink. 

"of course. i really like you." the younger says, smiling widely at the other.  

"but why now? why'd you ask me to hang out now?"

"honestly," taehyun says in a hushed tone, "i need some advice."

"advice?" soobin quirks an eyebrow. 

"yeah, and i just need to vent to someone that isn't my mum..." taehyun whispers, looking down at the table. 

"shoot" soobin says, "i'm ready to hear it all, hyunnie."

"i don't know where to begin-" taehyun says, looking down at his glass of ice coffee. he's being honest. where is he supposed to begin?

"huening kai once told me that your phone's wallpaper is a picture of something or someone you love. and you worry you'll lose it or them someday." soobin suddenly says, trying to ease the sudden tension. 

taehyun glances down at his phone on the table. a notification dings in and the screen lights up. he carefully smiles at the photograph. it's of him and beomgyu. that day beomgyu hurt his knees and had to be carried home. 

they're playfully sticking out their tongues to the camera, with crescent eyes and happy smiles. it makes his heart flutter, remembering how happy he had been that day.

how nice it felt to finally feel important, feeling like he was significant. feeling like he finally mattered. that was a great feeling. 

"i think i'm falling in love with beomgyu." taehyun whispers, mentally patting his back for being brave and opening up. he doesn't know what to excpect. he doesn't know soobin well enough to know what to expect. 

"you think?" soobin asks, looking over at the other with a small frown. 

"i know i'm falling in love with beomgyu."

soobin doesn't utter a word, instead he guiltily sips his milkshake. he doesn't know what to add. is there anything that can ease the ache in taehyun's heart? soobin hasn't read enough fiction to know the right answer. 

"what's your wallpaper then, hyung?" taehyun asks, pointing at the older's phone. 

soobin turns it on, revealing a picture of the five of them after beomgyu's relay race. their arms are linked and they have wide smiles on their faces. 

"i love you guys so much." soobin whispers, typing in his password on his phone. before turning the phone over completely, revealing his home-screen to taehyun. 

"but i'm so worried i'll lose him." soobin whispers, and taehyun's eyes widen at the sudden honesty soobin is revealing to him. 

the picture is of yeonjun. his hair is spiked up in all directions with blue hair dye and he's sending a big grin to the camera. hands forming a small heart by his chest. it makes taehyun feel happy. 

"do you like him?" taehyun asks, "like more than a friend?"

"definetly." soobin says with a frown. taehyun feels his heart swell, he's proud of the older for opening up to him. especially about something like this. 

"does he know?" 

"no, don't tell him. i'll kill you if you tell him." soobin says with an angry, but vulnerable voice. 

"i won't, i promise i won't." taehyun reassures him, putting up his hands in defense. 

"but we could never be together." soobin says with a sad look on his face.

"my parents would never approve. plus, yeonjun moved on ages ago, it isn't worth ruining my mental health for a boy who has moved on." 

taehyun nods along quietly to the other's words. now he feels like soobin felt minutes ago. is there anything i can say to ease his heartache?

"did you give it a shot already?" he asks instead and soobin nods. 

"my parents threatened me, telling me i could never be friends with a sinner." soobin's eyes glisten, "i bet they know i want to be more than friends as well."

"hyung." taehyun is drowning in empathy. and wants to cry at the older's words. 

"i'm so sorry you have to deal with that." he grabs onto the older's sleeve to comfort him. if they were closer, he would've shot out of his chair and hugged him. but he holds himself back. 

"it's fine. i've been managing just fine for over two years now." soobin says, adjusting his tear stained glasses on his nose. 

"please remember that you can always run to me, okay? my door is always open for you. me and mommy will definetly let you in, no matter what."

taehyun takes a bite out of his almond biscuit, grimacing at the taste. he sticks his tongue out in disgust and swills his mouth with ice coffee before handing the biscuit to soobin. who gladly takes it and eats it in one go. it makes taehyun laugh, soobin can't contain his teary smile either. 

they share a peaceful few seconds looking at each other with wide smiles. being like this is nice. this is exactly what i wanted. this is more than i ever expected. this is finally what it feels like to have a proper friend. 

"i promise i'll come to you when i need someone." soobin says quietly. 

"and what do you need me for?" taehyun asks, looking up at the older with big eyes. 

he doesn't know what to expect. that's why soobin's words hurt a little more than he had imagined they would; 

"i'll come to you when i need someone to love me." 

☁️

i love you ♡

this tuesday i wore a skirt to school for the first time! i walked around without assuming what others thought about me !!

this might not seem like a big deal to you, but it is for me. this is a VICTORY!

what is your small victory of
the week? i'd love to compliment you for being great ♡

(they/them)