I Hate Loving You - Shane Walsh x Reader (The Walking Dead FanFiction)

Chapter Sixteen- The Lost

The verdict was reached. Randal would be killed, I didn't have a problem with it. No one did really. I found myself thinking about it more and more as the night went on. Completely restless, the entire night. I never heard the gunshot and I never felt Shane come to bed. I found myself lost in thoughts of before everything happened.

I laughed throwing myself on the ground next to Lori. I splashed the water in the puddle all over her. She gasped throwing water at me too.

"You bitch!" Her laughter outshone mine. I gasped as she threw a chunk of mud at me. I heard gasps from around us. I threw mud at her with a grin.

"Oh it's on." I grabbed ahold of the nearest person, which happened to be her lovely boyfriend, Rick, and blocked the toss. She gasped as I pushed him forward and started sprinting. She chased after me as I kept running. The school photographer began to take pictures of our wet, muddy, sloppy, selves.

The moment I thought about Lori I sighed. She was my best friend. Then I lied to her, slept with Shane after her, and ultimately ruined our friendship. Maybe it was for the best, after years and years of being her friend I never left her shadow. I never will. I felt a hand on my shoulder, Shane. He put his weight on me with a sigh.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Shane's voice was low and attentive. I continued my stare into the fire burning in front of me.

"Lori." I whispered. Shane nudged me out of my chair, I stood up to let him sit down. The minute he did he pulled me right into his lap, like a small child.

"Y'know, you've always been so much better than her." Shane sighed into my ear as he whispered the words. "That's why I love you." His words came out soft and warm. My heart melted into his palm.

"I love you too." I closed my eyes and leaned into him. Holding onto his chest as his hands held my waist.

I woke up to arms holding me close and a face on my chest blowing warm breaths through my shirt. I smiled as I slowly pulled myself away only to have the arms pull me back.

"Nope." The 'p' popped under me. I let out a small chuckle as Shane's head looked up at me. "I'm comfortable." He laughed a bit. I wiggled underneath Shane and he groaned rolling off me.

"I'm sorry but, I have things to do. Probably help dig a grave." I sighed and pulled a pair of pants on. I watched Shane bite his lip and I knew. "He isn't dead!"

"Ranger Rick couldn't go through with it. Carl showed up- it was a shit show." Shane pulled himself up. And, pulled on a shirt.

"So, where is he? In the shed again?" I chuckled as I drew my attention to a very quiet Shane. His eyes told me what was happening. My jaw dropped. "You've got to be fucking kidding me." I pulled on my shoes. Getting out of the tent I spotted the group. Shane followed behind me as I walked to the group, seeing a missing member, Dale. I saw grim expressions on everyone's faces. "Dale happy he got his way?" I sighed as I sat in the chair from the night before. Everyone looked at me with h sadness in their eyes. I looked around confused. "What?" I chuckled worriedly. Shane kneeled beside me with a sigh.

"Dale- he- he, uh- y/n, Dale died last night. Walker got him." Shane swallowed hard sending me into tears. I chuckled a little bit and shook my head.

"Ol' man died from a walker." I wiped my eyes and shook my head. "I'm- wow. Of all things." I shook my head. I looked up at the sky, it was orange and pink. Still dark enough for people to be asleep. I heard Andrea sobbing beside me. I took her hand with half a smile. "He's with his wife. He'll never have to loose anyone else." Andrea nodded. Everyone sat in silence while the rest of the group work up for the funeral.

———

I sat in the bed of the truck with T-Dog and Daryl. We drove down the road in silence. My feet dangled over the edge bouncing up and down. I sighed as I watched the ground bounce up and down. We were looking for the rest of the cows that had gotten loose.  I drifted through as we tracked one. We came to a group of walkers surrounded by walkers eating it. I wasn't focused on anything. The knife in my left hand and the hammer in my right. I approached a walker, I hit it once with the flat end and then flipped it around to the pointed end. I repeated the process to another.

———

We began to pack up the campsite and move into the house. After Dale's death Hershel decided us staying in the house was a smarter choice. I took all of Shane and I's stuff inside while he went and fixed the water tower. I picked a spot big enough for the both of us and made our bed. I came outside and grabbed the rest of our stuff bringing it inside when Maggie nudged me with a small box of stuff.

"Take this." Maggie whispered as I set my box down. I took it and opened the small box. Birth control tablets.

"You're the only person who holds onto this stuff in the end." I chuckled and shook my head. I handed it back to her. "I'm good."

"You're- what?" Maggie's eyes widened as she took them. I chuckled and walked out to see Shane talking to Rick. I waltzed over to watch Rick getting frustrated. Shane started to walk away when he saw me. I smiled and walked to him throwing my arms around his neck.

"Go grab me some water, please? Gonna go talk to Randal." Shane smiled weakly as he gripped my waist slightly.

"Okay. After- we should, Y'know. Head off alone." I chuckled as I kissed his head. Shane smiled and nodded. I let go and walked inside.

———

I watched the edge of the trees for Shane. I didn't care about Rick, Daryl, or Glenn coming back, I love the three of them, but Shane. Shane was another story. I found myself crying as I imagined the worst. Randall has escaped and gotten the jump on Shane. Leaving him bloody and a wreck. I heard a gunshot and paused. My breathing stopped and I slipped off the porch. I looked at the house and then back. I couldn't leave everyone alone. To fend for themselves. I shook my head and opened the door to the house. I heard yet another gunshot and I turned around. I saw Daryl and Glenn coming up the steps.

"Where are they?" I whispered to Glenn as we all went inside. I stared blankly at the door as they talked. I went outside as everyone else did. I spotted walkers, hundreds maybe. Slowly coming towards us. I stood watching them as they came closer. My heart dropped. Shane. Shane was still out there.