I Hate Loving You - Shane Walsh x Reader (The Walking Dead FanFiction)

Chapter Nineteen- Backwards

Shane's POV:

The night of the farm

I felt a sharp pain go into my thigh, a bullet. I fell to the ground. Rick ran off and so did I. I saw the walkers coming towards the farm. I knew Y/n wouldn't be safe if I was with her, so I ran. I kept running past the farm. Until I was back at the highway in the touch of dawn, three days later. I grabbed water from the car we left for Sophia and chugged it. I quickly bandaged myself up and waited. Hopefully, Y/n would show up soon. Hours and hours went by. Nothing. I finally fell asleep, and when I woke up the blue truck was parked there. No, Y/n. Just the Blue Truck. I found a small note laying down on the dash.

Shane-

If you get this, let's pray you do, find me. I'm not leaving Georgia until you do, f it's been years. I love you. I really do. If you're dead then I'll live with it. If you aren't then, then come find me. Well, if you want. I love you. Stupid.

You already know who.

I wiped my tears and folded the note up. I put it in my pocket and started walking. A blood stained truck isn't my ride of choice. I started towards the way we came. I had nothing but, a knife and some food and water in a bag. I walked through as far as I could, until I got to a cross in two roads.

"Shit." I whispered as I looked all three ways. "She wouldn't follow Rick. Where would Rick go?" I tapped my foot as I saw a shirt laying on the ground. "She's smarter than I though." I went that direction. What other choice did I have? Find Rick and not her? I grabbed the shirt and stuck it in the bag as I kept walking that way.

———

Present day

I huffed as I sat down behind a tree. No Y/n, no Rick. I'm nothing less than lost. I found an apartment building that houses very few walkers and that's been my home. For months possibly. During the winter I found a truck. I took it. Kept all my shit in it in case I had to leave. I found some places Y/n, was until the trail stopped at an old abandoned house. It was neat and clean. Pretty and perfect. I spent a week there. No Y/n. I knew she was there recently. I found supplies and one thing that screamed Y/n louder than her being there physically, a notebook. Days and days of writing. Shane this, Shane that. I brought it with me when I left.

———

Your POV

I sat on the top of the wall. Two weeks in Woodbury and I wanted to go back out there. Michonne, the woman who was with Andrea. She left. Andrea stuck around. Merle came to me asking about Daryl, trying to figure out how to find him.

"Y/n, Blondie gave me this." Merle held out a map with the farm circled. I smiled as I handed it back. "Help me find him."

"Dixon," I sighed as I pulled Merle to the side. "I left the group. Rick tried to kill Shane. I- I left because of that." I shook my head with a sigh.

"Officer Friendly?" Merle chuckled. "Just us. I- I don't ask for much."

"Fine. We'll go back to my house first. I still have supplies there." I smiled and patted Merle on the back. I started to walk away but, Merle stopped me.

"The Asian." Merle nodded at me and I stopped. "He's here, his girlfriend too."

"What?" I almost lost my grip. "Merle. You aren't fucking with me are you?"

"No, shut up." Merle was looking around making sure no one was listening. "You keep that to yourself. Now, I'll come grab you during the fights tonight. You'll see them, okay?"

"The fuck? No, you tell me where they are now. For fucks sake. Merle Dixon they are the only way you're ever gonna see Daryl again." I huffed with a quiet voice. I shook my head and started to walk off.

"Y/n, c'mon." Merle's voice called after me.

"Y/n." Andrea's voice pulled me in. I lifted my head and turned around with a smile. "You two alright?" Merle groaned as he walked away.

"Yeah. Just tired of him trying to sleep with me." I chuckled. "What can I do for you?"

"Fights tonight. Are you going?" Andrea sighed as she looked me in the eye. I know she was upset I work on the wall and she didn't. Then again, she could do anything she wanted, she was banging the Governor.

"Probably not. I think I'm going to pick up a wall shift. They upset me." I smiled with a shrug. I looked down at my hands. "You ever miss our old group?" Andrea signaled for me to walk with her.

"Sometimes I think about how they're doing, if they're around." Andrea sighed as we walked. "I think they're okay. You?"

"I think-" I took a deep breath and smiled. "I think Lori had the baby and it's a boy. I think Daryl named him something crazy, like," I took a deep breath and thought for a moment. "Blood baby, murder baby." I chuckled. Andrea laughed with a nod.

"Daryl would do something like that." Andrea put a hand on my shoulder and opened her mouth.

"Y/n! Hey!" Martinez smiled as he jogged up to me, I signaled Andrea to go ahead. "We canceled the fights tonight, so I was wondering if you wanted to take a wall shift with me?"

"Maybe we can take the night off, just hang out at your place." I smiled flirtatiously adjusting my pose to give him some help.

"Sweet. I'll cook something." Martinez smiled and took my hand he gently kissed it. He was filled with a childish love, he was all sweet and soft around me, right until his name was called.

"Martinez!" Phillip called out his name with a few other members of the 'militia' from WoodBury. Martinez turned red and let go of my hand. "C'mon we've got things to do."

"I'll see you tonight then?" Martinez called as he started backing away. I bit my lip and nodded. I turned around and rolled my eyes. He's nice enough, figured he's nice enough company.