I Hate Loving You - Shane Walsh x Reader (The Walking Dead FanFiction)

Chapter Twenty-Nine- Liar

I gagged as I smelt the most foul stench in the world. I knew it was walkers. I followed Abraham as he walked over the hill to figure out what the hell to do. It was exactly what I'd expected. Walkers. A whole farm, not a small farm you'd find right outside the city, one of the huge industrial farms. Ones that were supposed to be filled with cattle, pigs, sheep, and even chickens. I ran a hand through my hair and shook my head. I leaned over to Tara and whispered in her ear.

"I'm going to walk back. There's no way Abraham is going to be cool with going around. I'm going to find the shortest detour possible and see if he'll budge with it." I nodded and started jogging back. Once I got there I grabbed the map and sat in the driver seat as I looked at it. I hummed a small tune as I did.

You are my sunshine.

My only sunshine.

You make me happy,

When skies are gray.

You'll never know dear,

How much I love you.

Please don't take,

my sunshine away.

The other night dear,

When I lay sleeping,

I dreamt I held you in my arms.

I smiled and saw as I saw a road that would add only a few hours to our time. I hopped out of the truck only to see Abraham holding onto Eugene yelling nonsense at Glenn as Glenn tried to pull Abraham off Eugene. I ran over and grabbed Rosita as she almost fell to the ground. She steadied herself as we finally heard Eugene yelling.

"I'm not a scientist! I'm not a scientist!" Eugene kept yelling. "I lied. I'm not a scientist. I don't know how to stop it. I'm not a scientist." Eugene told the truth. I boiled inside. I blanked out. My vision turned black. I wasn't sure how long it took me but, I did punch Eugene. Then, I watched Abraham punch Eugene. Once, twice, then one last time twice as hard as the first two about three times as hard as mine possibly four. Eugene fell on the ground. I blinked realizing what just happened. In a list of most important to least.

One, Eugene lied which caused death of many people.

Two, Rosita had indirectly threatened Abraham only by holding her hand on her gun.

Three, Abraham could have just killed Eugene and I could care less.

I watched Abraham as he walked past the fire truck and onto his knees staring out into space. I noticed his bandages had came off. I looked back at Eugene to see everyone around him trying to help him. I sat in the drivers seat and read one of my books. Hours went by. Tara opened the door on the other side and climbed in next to me.

"Water?" She slid in and smiled as she shut the door. I nodded and took the bottle. I took a drink with a smile. "Why'd you come with?"

"An extra hand never hurt anyone." I smiled and looked at Tara. She gave me a look like she knew I was lying. "Shane told me that he 'knew' I had feelings for Abraham and I should come along so I can just be with him instead."

"That's heavy." Tara whispered. I nodded. I sighed and took another drink.

"Yeah." We stayed in silence for a while. Tara eventually mumbled something and got out. I sat there staring at the heat waves. After about an hour I got out with my books and walked over to Abraham. "You getting up anytime soon?" No answer. "Let me fix up your hand?" No answer again. I heard the wind blowing slightly as his breaths were deep, meditative. "Fine then. I'll sit here." I crossed my legs and let myself fall right beside him. I set a book in front of him. "That's about the military, guy fought never came back, figure you'd it's better than this." I held up the other book. "It's a romance, girl meets guy, girl falls in love at first glance but, she refuses to admit it so she says she hates him. So, cliché huh? Yeah, well I like it. When you decide to move I'll decide to as well. Until then, perfect opportunity to catch up on some middle school level reading." I smiled and opened the book. I flipped through reading. Maggie gave us water. Which eventually made me realize the rest of the group had been gone a while. Maggie finally came over and talked to Abraham, which didn't surprise me. After a few minutes we heard some gargling, like a walker. Maggie jogged over and I stayed with Abraham.

"Why aren't you moving?" Abraham looked at me. I closed the book and turned to him with a smile.

"Your hand needs fixing and much to your pleasure I'm good company." I smirked as I looked at him. I chuckled and shook my head. "I didn't want you to be alone. I don't know what you're doing through, but I've got some notion."

"How?" Abraham looked at me confused. I smiled and gestured to his hand.

"You still wear your ring. Plus, I see how you were around Carl and Judith. You were hesitant to even look twice at Judith." I smiled as I looked at Abraham. He nodded. Silently we sat there just letting the day go by.

———

I wasn't sure how long it was, but we'd ended up at the church. Then a hospital. We were approaching the doors when Rick walked out. Something about Beth and Carol. We watched as they slowly came out then-

Daryl was carrying Beth. She was wearing blue jeans, ripped how she likes them, a beautiful gray sweater that had a few holes in it but, still in good condition with a yellow blouse underneath, the boots that she loved, her hair in a ponytail with red in it where she'd obviously been shot. I gasped as I saw her. I wasn't focused on anything but, Beth and Daryl. Daryl was crying. Maggie was screaming. Rick was hugging Carl. Abraham, Rosita, Eugene, and Tara watched everyone break. I wasn't sure what was I was doing. Silently sobbing as I saw a girl who should have survived dead in my best friend's arms. Beth. I repeated her name over and over in my head. Poor Beth.

———

What's next?

The words were on repeat for days. Shane constantly tried to make some kind of conversation with me but, it always ended with Daryl, Tara, Abraham, or even Carl interrupting. Eventually days turned into each other. We had the fire truck, when the fuel emptied we walked. Then a van, same thing. Days bled into one another. We slowly gathered walkers behind us, causing all of us to be anxious but, we ignored it as we walked. I ended up with Judith. I told Rick I'd carry her so he could have a bit. He said no, and asked not too but, it was what I was going to do. I ended up smiling the minute I held her. I held her above me head and made faces. Finally we got to a bridge and cleared the walkers behind us. I waited with Judith, Gabriel, and Eugene. I bounced Judith up and down. I held her weakly above my head with a smiled.

"Princess Judith. The prettiest princess of them all." My arms felt weak but, Judith's laughter made it worth it. I hadn't eaten or drank anything in days. "Let's put you in this, Gabe hold her for a second please?"

"Yeah." Gabe took Judith as I wrapped a long strip of blanket around me to create a cradle for her. I had Gabe set Judith in it. She clung onto my shirt and closer her eyes whining a bit.

A while later we found some cars with booze being the only thing we found. Which, Abraham gladly gave me a drink of. I only typo one knowing it would only make things worse. Then dogs came out of the woods after a few shots we ate them. Everything blurred together. The only thing that stuck with me was Judith. The way she'd smile if I lifted her up or when I bounced her on my hip. Her smile.

We came across one thing on the road, water. A shit ton of it too with a note.

From a friend.

I smiled as I looked at it. I bounced Judith and laughed.

"Look Jude! We have mystery friends." I bounced her with enthusiasm. Carl smiled and grabbed Judith from me. I chuckled. "There's only one way to find out."

"No. There could be something in it." Shane spoke up. I glared at him and grabbed a bottle.

"What's the worst that could happen?" I inspected it. "One more walker? At this point, it's-" I felt a wet drop on my head. Then another and another. Eventually a whole lot of them hit my head. I dropped the bottle and spun around in the rain. I let everything fade away as I felt it. I stepped away from everyone's laughing. I almost slipped and fell, Abraham grabbed my hand and my waist to stop me.

"You okay?" He smiled at me and I nodded. A moment passed of us just staring at each other. Someone had mentioned a barn, probably Daryl, and we were going there. By the time we got there I was soaking wet and I loved it. I'd ran in the rain with the group with Abraham next to me. He made sure I didn't fall, very well knowing how easily I slip on things.