Mercy | Kylo Ren (on hold)

Chapter 35

I prepared my bag and spent the rest of the day alone. Thankfully so. I was past the point of anger, I was hurt. He managed to hurt me deep down inside and somehow I'd still take any other form of pain.

I felt numb on the inside as I tried to finish out the rest of my day. I spent probably an hour zoned out in the shower. It took me 3 hours to eat a single meal. My appetite was gone and my will power was non existent.

I had thought so little about my mother. I wasn't even sure how I felt about her, but to be compared to her in such a negative light hurt. Especially coming from someone who knew me best. It just hurt.

I got into bed earlier than usual, but I guessed I should be rested for whenever we'd depart. I was left wide awake in bed for hours before I noticed small noises emerging from the living room. I figured it was just a droid coming to clean or to take my bag, but the sound of something glass falling and the curses that followed told me otherwise.

I pulled the covers to my neck and closed my eyes and tried to rush to sleep, but the noises only peaked my interest. The bedroom doors opened shortly after the noises went quiet. I heard him walk around the room and I could hear articles of clothing hit the floor. I heard drawers opening after wards I'm assuming to change into pajamas.

It was just out of my view and I was very thankful for that. I heard him go into the closet and noises of rustling and items falling happened every few seconds. He was likely packing clothes for the trip as well. I heard him come out after about 20 minutes and he shut off the light behind him.

I tensed when I heard the bed move a few feet behind me. I tried to stay as still as possible as he got himself comfortable. I heard the sheets moving around and his sighs as he got settled.

"I know I was too harsh." He said after a little while. I didn't reply because I didn't want to talk whether he knew I was awake or not. "I didn't mean to get like that. Everyone at the meeting was doubting me, I got angry when I felt like you didn't trust me."

Things stayed quiet for quite sometime. I kept my mouth shut and stayed with my back towards him. I heard his sigh of frustration when he assumed I wasn't answering. I heard him move around again and I figured it would be to face away and go to sleep.

"You know I wouldn't let you get hurt Astralaina-"

"Stop." I said and I reached behind me to grab the hand that had touched my waist. My eyes opened and instantly saw the room illuminate with the bright white light from my powers. I tried to contain it as much as I could, but I could tell it was hurting him.

"What?" He asked sounding like he was in pain.

"Please don't touch me." I said sharply as I yanked my hand back releasing his arm. "It makes me uncomfortable."

"I'd like to hold you." He said cautiously.

"I'd like to be left alone." I replied. "I need to be rested."

"We're leaving the day after tomorrow, I don't want to leave when we're fighting." He said and I was taken back. He had delayed an entire attack because we had gotten into a fight. He would never do that.

"We're not fighting." I said coldly.

"Astra, that's exactly what we're doing." He said sounding defeated.

"We should leave as soon as possible. The more we wait the more time we give them." I said.

"None of it matters if I don't have you by my side." He said softly.

"I never said I wasn't going on the mission." I said.

"You know what I mean." He said with a sigh. "I don't want you disconnected like this."