Mind - Jin || Completed

Ch34

I arrived at Jin's after hanging out with the guys. As usual, I parked my car a few blocks away and I would wear a hoodie while walking to his house. I rang the doorbell and Jin answered the door letting me inside.

"Hey." I greeted him and took my shoes off.

Jin pulled me in for a long hug. He inhaled and exhaled softly. "You smell nice."

I giggled. "Thank you."

Jin held my hand and led me to the couch. "So what did you need to talk to me about?"

He gently held my hands tight and he sighed out nervously. His thumb caressed my hand and I had a feeling of what he needs to say to me. 

"I.." he started. "I haven't been completely honest with you...about who I am. And I really care about you and I think it's time I told you something that I've been hiding about myself."

"Okay." I replied softly.

He looked down and gulped. "I'm...bipolar, and the severe kind." He looked up at me to read my reaction and all I could do was slightly smile at him. He tilted his head in confusion. "D-did you hear what I said?"

I lightly chuckled. "Of course I did." I pulled him in for a hug and ran my fingers through his hair. "If we're being honest...I kind of knew."

He pulled away and widened his eyes. "You did?"

"Yeah. When I first came to your house I accidentally found a prescription bottle with your name but I never looked up the name of it until today. I went to visit you earlier at school before you saw me and I saw you throwing things in the room and yelling. It seemed out of nowhere and then I remembered about the bottle and looked it up," I put my hand on his cheek. "I'm not bothered by it, Jin."

"Y-You're not?" He sighed out with relief. "You don't know how happy that makes me feel."

"Thank you for being honest with me. I need to be honest with you about something too. My dad came to see me the other week when I came back from the cabin. He offered me ten thousand dollars so I could go to college comfortably. I went to Jimin instead of you to get advice because it was easier since he doesn't know who my dad is. You know who he is and I needed an impartial third party." I looked at him to find a reaction, just like he did with me. 

He took my hand and slightly smiled, softly replying, "I know."

"You know?" I asked in shock. "How do you know?"

"Your dad actually talked to me after school today. He told me about the dinner and how you thanked him for the money."

I felt embarrassed. If anyone knows how much I have hated my dad, Jin would be one of them. "It's so weird you're talking to my dad and he doesn't know about us."

"He actually asked if you and Jimin were dating." He chuckled. 

I laughed mockingly. "What did you tell him?"

"I just told him you two were really good friends. I'm not going to tell your dad that we're dating."

"Good." I shifted my body on top of Jin so I was now straddling his lap. I put my arms over his neck and playfully ran my fingers through his hair, sweetly smiling at him. "I'm enjoying this secret we have."

Jin kissed my forehead and put his hands on my waist. "So...you're really okay about my condition?"

"Why wouldn't I be? We're both crazy, Jin. Unless there's something I need to worry about because of it, now would be a good time."

He gulped and his eyes shifted to the floor. His face looked like he had been guilty of something and I knew there was more to his condition. I got off of him and sat back down next to him. "How did you find out about it?"

He sighed out keeping his head down. He then proceeded to tell me the story about his ex-girlfriend Jenny. They were about to get married when her parents came and broke up the wedding, preventing the two of them to be together. Jin was so determined to be married to her no matter what that he would do anything to make sure that happened. When he thought he was helping himself and Jenny, it actually did the opposite. He ended up beating up Jenny's dad almost to the brink of death, and that's how he found out about his bipolar. He was lucky that her dad didn't press any charges because he knew that Jin needed help. 

After all of these years he's still haunted by what happened. My heart hurt for him watching him tell me that story, it took all of him to prevent him from completely breaking down. Telling this story must still feel like it just happened but I admired him for staying strong. 

"That's why I wanted to tell you today." Jin said when he finished his story. "After seeing her today at the grocery store, that day kept replaying in my head. I would never want that to happen to you. After talking to Jenny she made me realize that if what we have is real, I need to be completely honest with you. I wouldn't want you to find out another way and you end up leaving me."

"Thank you for telling me, Jin. Have you ever thought about seeing a therapist to talk about this with?"

"Aiden has been nudging me to see one for as long as I've known him and I never got around to it. I've been so busy making a career for myself that I didn't want to make time to see someone. So all I've been doing is take medicine whenever I feel like I might break." Jin looked at me. "Do you think I should see one?"

I smiled and shrugged. "I don't even listen to you when you tell me to go to class. I'm the last person who should be telling you what to do. But if your friend Aiden thinks that you should, maybe you should listen to him."

"Alright." Jin said letting out a long sigh. "I will definitely start looking into it."

We both laid down and watched television. I laid in front of him while he cuddled me from behind. I always felt safe being in his arms, but this time it felt different...it made me feel like my heart was skipping a beat just by keeping me close to him. 

While watching T.V, Jin whispered. "Y/n?"

I hummed. 

"I love you."

My heart felt like it was going a million miles a second. The smile creeping up on my face could not be hidden. I turned around to face him as he continued to hold me in his arms. He smiled nervously waiting for me to say something back to him. Now that we were able to be open and honest with each other, I definitely see this relationship going the distance. I never knew what love was like...until I met him. 

"I love you too, Jin."