Never Have Love At All (Las Mujeres Fuertes Series #1)

PROLOGUE

Philippines raised its flag again by winning the Formula One World Championship at the Red Bull Ring Circuit for the Austrian Grand Prix. Azarde Quangco now entered the round as the defending World Drivers' Champion and his team, Mercedes-ACS Petronas as the defending World Constructors' Champion. The Austrian Grand Prix race was won by Mercedes driver Azarde Quangco, Amber Perfetti second for McLaren and Shawn Estre finishing third for Ferrari.

Wow!

Totoo na talaga!

I unconsciously put down my phone after reading the article. Totoo na talaga! Nailabas na yung balita. May livestream din pero parang hindi ko alam kung ano yung nararamdaman ko sa sobrang tuwa. Nai-panalo ni Aza! Nanguna siya pagkatapos nang ilang race! He's the champion of this season! He really made it! After all of his hardwork, finally, he's now part of the World Drivers' Champions. Dati sinasabi niya lang na gusto niya, na pangarap niya iyon pero ngayon parte na siya noon.

My heart is pounding so fast. I am so proud of him! I watched Aza as he went out of the cockpit. His team started to helped him get out his racing car. Kitang-kita sa mukha ni Aza yung ngiti. Reporters are starting to flocked over him and his team. How can he look so fine after that race? Ang haba noon! Ilang oras din iyon but he still look fresh! Ang unfair nang mundo!

God! He's looks so good! Namiss ko na tuloy siya. Gusto ko siyang yakapin ng sobra.

Napahikab ako dahil sa antok na nararamdaman. Mag-a-alas singko na nang umaga at feeling ko kulang parin talaga ako sa tulog kahit nakatulog ako kagabi. Pero pinilit ko paring gumising kaninang alas tres para mapanuod ang race ni Aza.

And, I feel so proud. Number 1 siya sa Poles Position at Podium! Ang galing talaga! May interviews pa siya after the race which mostly mga celebrity ang gumagawa. May press conference rin at after party. He'll be so busy. I sent him a message, congratulating him for winning. Although wala ako sa tabi niya, sana yung message ko talaga ang una niyang makita kapag hindi na siya busy.

I missed him so much. Gusto ko nalang siyang mayakap kahit kayakap ko lang naman siya noong isang gabi.

Around 11AM nang magising ako. I woke up in a very good mood because why not? My boyfriend won the race. Wala parin siyang message sa akin. Baka sobrang busy parin. I wish I was there to hug him and give him a kiss for winning. Sayang lang talaga at wala ako roon. Napanuod ko naman siya. Halos mahimatay nga ako sa kaba kada laps. Parang nandoon ako. Siguro kung nandoon ako, mas kabado ako. Kasi hindi mo masasabi yung mangyayariㅡ kung matatapos ba ng maayos o hindi.

I stayed in my bed and I decided to find some Aza's pictures on the internet for his recent race. Actually, there's a lot! Hindi tuloy ako makapili! He looks so handsome kahit stolen. Grabe talaga!

Boyfriend ko talaga 'to?

MANILA ㅡ Aza Quangco doubled celebration as he announced his engagement with the Philippines' First Love and one of the Top Artist of the Country, Joella Lopez.

There's a picture attached on it. Aza's holding Joella's waist. Ano 'to? Bakit may ganito?

I continued reading the article until I found myself soaking with my own tears.

Bakit ang sakit?

They announced their engagement?

At ako, paano ako?

Ano ako sa buhay mo, Aza?

I looked for a video clip to tortured myself. Aza is smiling while Joella confirmed that they are engaged. Everyone looks so happy.

Ako iyong girlfriend!

Pero iba yung nandoon...

Bakit ganoon?!

If it is possible, I think I heard my heart breaking, being torn into pieces. Kasi ang sakit. Ang sakit sakit. Parang nasira.

Ulit.

Sabi niya ako lang pero bakit may iba?

Sabi niya hindi niya ako sasaktan?

Sabi niya hindi niya ako kayang saktan!

But he did.

And, I trusted him.

My hands is shaking. I couldn't stop myself from crying. I promised to myself that I will never lose myself because of love but here I am right now... Losing every fiber of it.

I don't know what's the truth.

I don't know if it is the truth.

But he promised not to hurt me and he did.

Bakit ang sakit sakit?

I looked at our picture on the top of my side table. Aza's kissing my cheek. We looked so in love but why we're in this situation right now?

Bakit may ganito?

My phone keeps on ringing but I have no energy to answer that. It just... It hurts so bad. Really bad.

Just at that thought before, I said I would rather not love at all than to love and lost...

And here I am right now, I'm lost.

Again.

__