BABALIK

38

Decide

~♡~

I gave him a narrowing look. "Anong nakakatawa roon?"

"You know what? If there was somebody else here, he would think you're crazy."

I was unable to hold back a small smile. Nakatitig lamang ako sa kaniya habang pinagkakatuwaan niya ako.

I was used to it. I'm used to it. Without it, a day to him couldn't seemed to find complete. It seemed like his happiness leaned on it.

"Annoy?" May halong pang-aasar na tanong niya.

"Masaya ka na?" Inirapan ko siya.

Pagkatapos noon, tumawa kami pareho. Sinasabayan ko lang ang pagtawa niya. Ngunit iba sa pagkakataong ito. Hindi ang dahilan ng pagtawa ko ay ang hawak kong baso, at mas lalong hindi ang katangahang ginawa ko.

That feeling, when you don't have to feel uncertainty or even tense, because you are comfortable with that person.

Iyong bang napakagaan sa pakiramdam. Hindi ka naiilang o ano pa man. Walang pekeng tawa at ngiti. Totoo lahat. Hindi 'bat napakasarap noon sa pakiramdam?

Matagal ko ring hinintay ang pagkakataong ito na muli siyang makausap. Marinig siyang tumawa o kahit iyong ngiti lang niya. Iyong mga biro at pang-aasar niya sa akin, kahit iyong sweetness niya, namimiss ko rin iyon lahat.

But don't get me wrong. It was really nothing. 

"Is this the real life?"

I turned to him, contracting my brows.

He bent slightly, leaning his both hands on the railings, then stared. "Do we really need to suffer first before we get what we want?"

Muling napawi ang sandaling galak. Sumisimoy na naman ang malamig na hangin. Tila naninigas na ang aking katawan.

I just shrugged off as an answer to his question.

"Bakit kaya hindi na lang naging tama ang lahat?" He looked at me.

What are he trying to say? Are we really done? Or what?
Nanliliit na naman ako dahil sa mga sinasabi niya. Sa mga titig niya sa akin. Akala ko ba tapos na? Akala ko ba tanggap na niya?

"Minsan iniisip ko, kailan kaya darating iyong mga bagay na para sa akin." He continued.

Finally, he looked away. I decided following his line of gaze. Didn't want to meet his eyes, again.

"Have you ever thought, why do mistakes always come first before we arrive with the truth? Parang ang hirap lang isipin 'di ba?

That made me think, anyway. Bakit nga ganoon? Minsan, o madalas pa ngang nangyayari ang ganitong mga sitwasyon. Madalas tayong magkamali sa halip na maging tama. Tila ba ang tama ay palaging nasa likod ng mali. Na kailangan mo munang magkamali bago mo malaman ang tama.

No matter how hard we try not to make mistakes, we always end up so.

"How long do we have to wait for it?" He said, taking one last glance at me.

I can feel it, but I decided not to looked back.

"Let me give you a situation." He continued.

This time I turned, meeting his eyes. Maybe, waiting for that situation he'd said. Because, I am currently confused why those words keep on falling from his lips.