Rampage✔

Demons and nightmares

Two days. It has been dreadful,
agonized two days since Casie's
been missing.

Time seemed to slow down as every moment became more painful to bear.

To bear the hurt, to bear the memories that had been buried deep down his heart.

It clenched. It shuddered with fearful possibilities, but it never stopped.

He wished, it stopped. It stopped so that he would not have to face this nightmare called reality.

A reality, where his one friend is dead and the other is missing.

His blue eyes harden at the thought, alluring him to punch the wall that had been stained with his filthy blood for the hundredth time.

Hundred maybe two hundred, he lost count.

He lost his heart the day he buried his best friend under those six feet soil and now he lost himself with the girl he came to care about .

No care would be a wrong word.
The things he did to her are unforgivable.

Only a monster like him could do something like this. Only a heartless beast like him can do something like this.

He lost his sense in rage, agony and despair. He forgot who he was or who he was hurting. He forgot that, this was the very same girl who became his savior years ago.

The girl who saw him as a friend rather than a broken child. The girl who smiled a him rather than fearing away from him.

But he learnt something bitter from his past. That he got to let go the things he loves.

He loved his mother and she died because of him.

He loved his brother and now he's gone.

His younger self was intelligent by not caring for that girl. But it was hard. It was way too hard to act like she never existed.

So he tried to hate her. Tried to make her hate him. So that she will give up and go away.

But she never did. Until now. When he started to embrace those lost feelings.

That's what happens when you care. He's such a God dammed fool.

He's a monster. A heartless monster.

He deserved every bad things that could ever happen to anyone. He knew he deserved hell.

He deserved his own punishment. The punishment he planned to put on someone else.

He fucking deserved to burn in fire and rot in the soil. But he did not deserve to feel like this. 

To feel like  the regret, the pain that eats you from inside.

Those thoughts that crawl upon your beaten heart and scrape till it bleeds, burns and tears apart.

Everything becomes numb.

The world around you turns darker, you get stuck into a place where your darkest fear lies.

You nightmares plays around you like a movie and you can't close your eyes.

You run, you hide but you can't escape. There is no demon, no monster. The real demon is you. You run, you hide so that you can save you from yourself.

You try and try. At one point you become tired. Tired of escaping. Tired of breathing and living in this nightmare.

You are tired of pretending that it's just a bad dream. You just have to wake up. Just have to open your eyes.