talking to the moon//h.s.

07

"so i just click whichever option i find is best?" i ask the woman, my hands shaking.

i decided to follow through with my plan and switch my soulmate out for a new one.

harry deserves better.

i'm nervous though because anything could happen. this could even permanently damage my life.

"yeah, when you choose you can't go back." she looks up at me. "are you sure this is what you want to do?" she asks and i nod.

"it's the best option for him." i reply, my voice cracking.

it might hurt me but i know that it won't hurt him. i've done all of my research and i'll do anything i can to make him the happiest he can be.

i sit on the couch, silence washing over the room. i take the pill that she gave me and options appear above my head.

choose your new soulmate:
•your best friend
•your ex
•your ex best friend
•random

i shake my head softly at how unfair the options are. i don't want to ruin my relationship with madison, i despise my ex, and my ex best friend is jasper.

i hesitantly choose 'random' before standing up.

what if i chose the wrong option and i get an old man? that would be horrible.

hopefully harry is happy with his new soulmate.

"who did you get?" the woman asks me right before i can leave the room.

"i don't know yet." i shrug, leaving the room and feeling a knot form in my stomach.

this has to work. this has to benefit him for the better.

i hope i didn't make the wrong decision.

•••

"maryah! dinner is ready!" my aunt yells.

i haven't eaten all day because i lost my appetite when i chose a new soulmate.

i don't feel good at all because the thought of harry possibly not being happy breaks me.

this has to help him.

"i'm not hungry!" i yell back. i've been in my room since i got home and i can't help but have a feeling that this soulmate decision isn't going to end well.

it's okay maryah. just a few minutes until your new soulmate speaks to you. you're okay. you might not talk to harry but you can find out if he's happy through social media.

"are you my new soulmate?" the voice asks and it has a different accent from harry.

great. i'm just traveling the world huh?

"yeah." i respond softly, not wanting them to realize that i'm not in a good mood.

i don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but i hate the fact that i don't know how harry is doing.

i should probably worry about myself but i will once i know he's okay.

"oh, cool. what do you want to talk about?" they ask and i just don't have the energy to think of a topic.

"i'm actually tired so i'm going to go to sleep." i make up an excuse.

i need to just take a nap. if i take a nap then it'll help me feel better. if i take a nap then i won't have to wake up.

•••

"so harry isn't your soulmate anymore?" madison asks, she came to my house so we could study but she's only asked me questions about the soulmate situation.

we've been sitting in my room in silence for a few minutes though. it's awkward almost. it's very tense.

"it's the best option." i respond, trying to convince myself as much as i'm trying to convince her.

"are you alright?" she asks, leaning forward in her seat.

oh no. this is never a good question because i always want to tell the truth but i hate people worrying about me.

"yeah, i'm okay." i give her a soft smile and that seems to convince her.

we might have known each other for years but she's always been bad at noticing when i'm upset.

sometimes it's a good thing.

most days i just want her to tell me everything is going to be okay.

•••

i sit in silence, trying to think of ways to cheer myself up when i get a notification.

harry styles started following you on twitter.

my eyes widen at the notification and i quickly follow him back. i sit in our messages, thinking of something to text him when he texts first.

hazza:
you didn't think i forgot
about you, did you?

i smile softly before replying. this can't be real. did he really search for me? i never gave him my last name so it had to be hard to find me.

me:
i was hoping you didn't.

it doesn't take long at all for him to respond,
almost as if he's waiting in the chat like i am.

hazza:
how is your new
soulmate doing?

me:
they're alright.

hazza:
that's good.

me:
who is your soulmate?

i will more than likely regret asking that question but as long as he's happy, i'm happy.

he texts me back but i'm scared to look at it. what if he's upset with me?

hazza:
it's lou. thankyou.
seriously.

his response gives me peace. it helps me think that maybe my choice wasn't horrible after all. i lock my phone and lean back in my chair, at ease with the thought of harry being happy.

i'd do anything to make others happy, even if it hurts me.