feelings || bts x top!male reader imagines (republished)

● 27 ●

| Seokjin ; Angst |

It was supposed to be a night filled with laughter and smiles. Not pain and heart break. The movie night that you had planned turned into a bitter night that you just wanted to bury in alcohol in hopes to forget it all and maybe wake up with Seokjin wrapped around your arms. The past two years with the said male was the best years of your life, he was the most amazing person you ever met.

He understood you, he understood your mood swings. He stayed even when you would ignore him just because you wanted to. He understood your family's issues, he understood your issues. He told you you were amazing when you wanted to disappear, he told you he loved you no matter what happens. You would curse your self over and over again for being an immature jerk.

You broke up with him, only to tell him that you want him back. That happened almost every month in those two years. Seokjin cried multiple times, he stayed up all night staring at his phone in case you'd call to tell him that it was okay and you wanted him back in your life and he would welcome you as if nothing happened, as if he was never hurt. 

Those two years wasn't filled with meaning less break ups, you were known as a happy couple, a strong one at that. People would be envious, saying that they wished to have a relationship like the two of you. Only your close friends knew, how you would suddenly ignore him, his texts and calls. You had issues but you knew, deep inside you, you loved him.

You love his smile, his face, his jokes, his laugh, everything about him. You love the meals he cooked for you, the late night talks over the phone, the dates that you would spend with each other. You loved it, you loved him. And you still do.

It just happened that your family had a huge fight, you were squeezed between them and you didn't know what to do. You felt upset and angry at them, why the hell did you let it out on Seokjin?

You hurt him, you knew, you left a huge and deep wound on his heart. You hurt his feelings when he only wanted to comfort you. So, to try and win him back, you set up a wonderful movie night in your shared apartment. You prepared the movies that he loved, you prepared the couch to be more comfortable for him, you prepared the food that he loved.

"I can't do this anymore. I'm tired."

His words hurt you like hell, you froze and it felt like your heart stopped. You felt pain, extreme pain in your heart. Seokjin never opened his heart anymore, he locked you out because it hurt him too. He was hurt and broken, you were both hurt and broken. You wanted to fix everything up, but you were a jerk, you thought he'd welcome you again as if nothing happened. But not this time, not ever.

And now, a year had passed. Did you move on? You weren't sure. Did he? He did.

You had a few relationships after your break up, but none of them would be Seokjin's equal. No one could ever get on his level. You were happier with him. You would always be happier with him. You stood on the shore, the ocean tickling your feet. The wind blew on your cheeks, it felt like his gentle kiss. 

You screamed out, pain filling your heart to see his smile. His smile that another man had put on his face. You just heard how he had met someone else, someone else who made him happier. Happier than when he was with you. And that hurt you. No matter how many times you told your friends that you had moved on, you knew you didn't.

You thought that maybe if you came back in his life, maybe he'd accept you again. But when you saw the joy in his eyes when his new lover embraced him, you fell back. You'd only hurt him and he doesn't deserve to be hurt. You never deserved him. 

"If ever he breaks your heart, I hope you know that I'll be waiting here for you."

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accckkkk an angstttt hehehe, the fact that this was my personal experience and that i'm listening to ed sheeran's 'happier' makes me wanna cry lmao

i'm actually working on three books rn, two for male reader and one for female readers. they're bangtan fanfics and i can't wait to publish them soon hehehe