selfish | salia

Chapter 31

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A week had passed since I had gotten back to London, and I hadn't said a word to Simon. I had seen him around the house sometimes, but I hadn't felt up to talk to him yet.

That was until today. I had text him on his phone, asking if we could meet in the garden, just before lunch and he had said yes straight away. I hadn't told Freya, plus she was busy today, so she couldn't really stop me from doing it.

Hopefully from talking to Simon I would get some answers, and my mind would be put at ease from the questions I had gone insane over in the space of the last two weeks. I deserved that, at least.

I didn't bother putting nice clothes on, or doing my makeup. What was I trying to prove? Who was I trying to impress? The boy that had broken my heart?

No, I stayed in an oversized jumper and my pyjama bottoms...definitely not the most fashionable but I was way past caring anymore. Especially when it came to him.

I checked the time - it was half twelve, just a little later than we had agreed to meet. The house was empty - Josh and Freya were out, Vik was probably asleep and JJ was probably filming. It was a bright day, but as I stepped outside I discovered a strong breeze. It was-

"-fucking freezing out here," I complain, wrapping my arms around myself in order to warm myself up.

Simon turned his head around, then, looking at me with concern. I wanted to wipe it off of his face. He had no right to be concerned over me.

"Do you want my jumper? I can get a jumper if-"

"No, I'm fine. I only came here to talk, so say your part and then I'll say mine," I said flatly, sitting down on the opposite end of the furniture.

"Alright..." he spoke, and his posture shifted, and I could tell he was nervous. I was glad. he deserved to be nervous. "I'm sorry for everything I said...it was cruel, and selfish, and I'm so sorry you had to hear it...I wasn't thinking in the time because I was annoyed, and that's no excuse-"

"You're right, it is no excuse. But is it true? Did you mean it?" I demanded, standing my ground and staring him down.

"Talia-"

"Did you mean it?" I ask again, gritting my teeth.

"Talia, I love you...when I said that I meant it," he spoke eventually.

"That's not what I'm ask-"

"I know!" He spat back, and for a second it frightened me. "I'm sorry - I was just...getting to it. When I said I loved you, I meant it. I still do. But at the beginning, I -I don't know how to even say this, I went along with it because Sophie was so excited to set us up."

There it was. The final punch in the gut for me. "Right," I choked, looking up at the sky to prevent any tears from falling.

"Talia, I'm sorry...you don't have to forgive me yet, but I'll be here when you do-"

"When I do? Who says I'm ever going to forgive you for it?" I snap back.

"Our re - our relationship..." he stuttered.

"Our relationship?" I laugh, looking at him in confusion. "Simon, that ended the second you revealed you had been lying to me for months," I tell him, standing up and getting ready to leave. No words of protest left his mouth, and I was glad.

"Talia.." I had spoken too soon. "I'm not going to fight with you...just tell me this...is there even the smallest chance you and I might be able to make things work again?"