Take My Hand || Jinson

I'm... crying?

"I agree, if I can help both, Jinyoung and Youngjae I'll do it" Jackson said although internally debating with himself.

Jackson couldn't stop questioning himself, he didn't know if he did the right thing, but it was already done, the only thing left was to hope for the best.

They talked for more time about the changes and at the end, they all agreed that they would change that day. The meeting was over, so it was the perfect time for Jackson to talk about his nightmare.

"Doc. Hwang! Can we talk for a moment?"

Jaebeom asked the same question that Jackson at the same time. They looked each other and Jaebeom was scared, he thought that Jackson would get mad because he asked the same thing, but that wasn't the case, actually Jackson found the situation quite funny, so he smiled at Jaebeom and made a sign telling that he could talk first with him and that he'll wait.

"I have an idea, I'm sure both of you want to talk about urgent matters, so Jackson, why don't you go with Hoseok? He have helped you before and he actually appreciate you, so he'll be happy to help"

Jackson nodded, he actually liked to go with Doc. Lee, he was nice and caring and the most important thing, he was basically an expert in his field.

"I'll let him know you are going. Jaebeom come with me please"

After saying that, he saw how Jackson left and focused his attention on Jaebeom.

"What's the matter? Is everything alright?"

"Yes, is just that I wanted to asked you about something" Jaebum saw how Hyunjin nodded, so he continued. "Is just that in the morning I woke up and saw Youngjae searching for something, and when I asked what he was searching for, he answered me that he was looking for Jinyoung. The thing is that after hearing that, I felt weird, it was like a combination of disappointment and frustration or something like that, but then it suddenly disappeared"

"Did something happen before it disappeared?"

"Well, he... he smiled"

"Jaebeom-ssi have you ever heard the term 'Jealousy'? "

------

Jinyoung was walking around the clinic, looking at the different frames when he suddenly listen to Jackson's voice.

"Please tell me Doc. Lee! Am I really a monster!?, Do I deserve to be happy?!, do I deserve... to live?"

Gradually Jackson's voice was lowering, and he could actually hear him crying, but the didn't listen to the doctor's response, because the word monster were in his head, a bunch of memories coming back, but he wasn't able to distinguish them until it became clear. It was the day that his parents died, he could remember clearly the scene and with it, the words he received...

Monster

A word he heard pretty often from his "family", he remembered that the only ones that would defend him were his parents and his cousin Jihyo. A conversation between his parents and his uncle then came to his mind as he stared blankly at the wall in front of him.

"Why do you still have it? He is basically a monster, he doesn't love any of you, he doesn't care about you! You should just abandon him! It's like he's a broken doll with no possibility in fixing it!"

"Don't you dare to talk like that about my son! We'll find a way to help him, do you hear me?! Help him! He isn't broken and doesn't need to be fixed! If you don't want to support us, I don't care"

At that moment he didn't care about the conversation, he just didn't understand why they looked so mad and why they never visited them again.

Then the day of their death came to his mind. He was crossing the street when suddenly a truck appeared, he was going to get hit by the truck and he didn't care, he couldn't understand the meaning of living, he couldn't understand what was the matter of dying, but his parents did. They both jumped and manage to push Jinyoung out of the road, but they didn't manage to escape the truck. His father died at the moment of the collision, by trying to protect his mother. His mother was still alive when the ambulance came, but she didn't manage to make it to the hospital. He couldn't understand why they jumped to save him, they could have let him die and just have another child, but they didn't want to and they ended up risking their lives just to save him.

When his family arrived to the hospital, they all began cry in front of the dead bodies, he couldn't understand that either; 'why water was coming out of their eyes?' 'And why they were doing that in front of a dead body?' It was all so weird for him, but nobody care. Jinyoung was completely ignored by the family, they didn't care about him and most of them wished that the one who died was Jinyoung and not his parents.

The funeral came, their bodies were taken to the graveyard and buried, Jinyoung saw all of that with indifference, just wanting to go home and sleep. Suddenly it began to rain, and the raindrops made the illusion that Jinyoung was crying.

At the end of the day, it was time to decide who was going to take care of Jinyoung, but no one wanted to do it, all the family hated him, they consider him a monster and they blamed him for his parents death. At the end, he ended up with his mother's sister, all thanks to Jihyo, but he didn't last long living with them because they send him to the clinic. He remember that the day he said goodbye, Jihyo cried a lot and she promised that she would be the one who healed him.

A tear fell from Jinyoung's eyes, it passed through his cheek and finally it reached the floor; he was crying, but he didn't know if it was because of his parents death, because of what Jackson's said or because he was rejected by his family, but there was something he was sure about.

He was crying because he felt sad

He decided to return to his room to pack all his things to move in with Jackson, he couldn't stop crying so he thought that maybe that would help him, but before he could start walking, he saw a nurse coming close to him as it became a more familiar shape.

"Jihyo?..."