Take My Hand || Jinson

Love And Happy Endings? Not For Me

Love; Noun: An intense feeling of deep affection.

The way we see love is a magnificent and euphoric feeling you feel when you become attracted to another individual. But of course we are only ever told the good side to these type of things.

To Youngjae that one word was his biggest fear and for many reasons, He just could never see the word LOVE as he once did. His parents got divorced, someone broke his heart, and everyone who had ever said that they loved him dissipated from his life after saying the word,so feeling love wasn't something good or something that he enjoyed. Maybe he had once enjoyed the feeling of loving someone or being loved by someone but now all he could feel was all the hate that he felt with all his heart. He hated more than anything in this world. He just could not deal with having to go through another heartbreak or losing someone else.

The more he thinks he hates the word and the feelings behind it the more he realizes that he not only hates it but he now fears it. He was afraid of falling in love, he was afraid of suffering again, he was just afraid of everyone and everything that came with the world. This fear got stronger and stronger until he had finally develop philophobia, and as a consequence of that, he decide to remain isolated and to stop interacting with people. The younger living on his own to prevent his parents from tearing each other apart because he chose to go with one and the other didn't agree with the younger's opinion.

The necessity of loneliness had become too great as time progressed and the development of anxiety had been endured longer than expected which had consumed him whole. His family had been seeing concerning signs in his health and had become extremely concerned for his well-being. His family endured enough and had taken him to seek professional help. The confirmation for anxiety lead to this sixteen year old being placed in JYP health institution however the effectiveness of the place wasn't any different.

Youngjae didn't mind talking to others at the Institution as the paitents there were friendly and wanted nothing more than to talk. He didn't have to worry about forming relationships and most of all hearing the word LOVE. Youngjae was a social butterfly, knowing the doctor and nurses on a friendly level to knowing the groundskeeper as if they were family.

Youngjae really enjoyed being outside and would occasionally walk around the institution grounds until one day he was so focused on the beautifully blue colored sky that he just about fell face first into the grass. Youngjae closed his eyes in anticipation, waiting for his face to make contact with the floor. It never came. The sixteen year old male slowly opened his eyes only to be face with a male with angelic like features in the younger's eyes.

This threw Youngjae into a realm in which he wanted nothing to do with but his heart said otherwise. Youngjae was at a cross road and had no one to talk to about his problem, until he met two males just a bit younger than he was himself.