Take My Hand || Jinson

Yugyeom's song; Breathe me

⚠️ Self-harm is mentioned further in this chapter, so please be aware of that ⚠️

Yugyeom couldn't help but wonder what Doc. Lee had lost. He couldn't focus on his own song thinking about the older males song and how heavy with emotion the lyrics were, but he didn't want to ask him for help or what influenced him to write the song, because he knew that sometimes it was better to not remember something.

He cleared his mind and decided that the best thing was to begin with his song; he often listened to music to help him express his emotions, but he had never wrote one, so a wave of excitement washed over him, but he was also afraid at the same time. He managed to convince himself that there was nothing to worry about and that he could do it.

He took his pen and attempted to write something but when he looked at his wrists, the remains of his cuts were still there, if he so much as scratched at them the pure crimson liquid would ooze out of them. And maybe, just maybe his sadness would disappear for a little while. Before he realized, his hand was inching towards his wrist, wanting to temporarily relieve himself of stress... but he returned to reality when he heard Mark's soft whisper like voice.

"Yugyeom-ah, have you ever written a song?" Mark questioned as he grabbed Yugyeom's injured wrist and placed it on the table, Mark looked up at Yugyeom as he now softly rubbed his thumb on the Back of Yugyeom's hand.

Yugyeom was confused because usually Mark didn't start a conversation, he thought that maybe he was excited about the activity. Or maybe Mark just happened to understand the urge he was facing. He trusted that it was the first option, and decided to use the opportunity as a way to distract both Mark and himself.

"I haven't. I love listening to music but I have never written one or even made an attempt to write one. It's terrifying but interesting at the same time I guess you could say. Do you have any tips you would like to give me as you are an expert in the area?" Yugyeom says sparking the conversation between the two.

"I wouldn't consider myself a master in the area, but I'd recommend you to begin with what you think and feel right now. What actions you want to do things like that. But I bet you can't, because you know it's either wrong or because the environment doesn't give you the opportunity you want and/or need" Mark said finishing with a slight giggle as he thought back to Yugyeom calling him an expert.

Yugyeom just knew that he was referring to his wrist, and he suddenly felt ashamed of himself for showing such a cowardly act. An immense feeling of guilty and weakness hit him. He knew that Mark means well and wasn't in anyway trying to make him feel that way, but he knew that was the truth because he had heard it so many times.

The worst part of it, was the increase in his feelings. The necessity of doing it, of scratching like crazy increasing with them. He could feel the pulse in his wrist beating, asking for something he shouldn't do, but the one action his body felt was completely necessary in the currently stressful environment.

"Doc. Lee, I'm going to the bathroom with Yugyeom!" Mark says before grabbing Yugyeom and taking him to the bathroom. Once inside Mark tried his best to secure the door close for the time being as he stood there with Yugyeom. Once he was sure they were both secured in there he hugged him and he whispered into the younger's ears words that he hoped would soothe the younger.

"You are not weak Yugyeom, and you are not a coward! Do you hear me. You are a strong and amazing kid, having gone through what you have and still being here today, being my first friend and willing to help me through my own treatment as you go through yours. In reality I should thank you Gyeom-ah" Mark said before trying to suppress a sob.

Yugyeom could feel Mark trembling in his arms, he knew that hugging him was hard for Mark, but he was doing it to make him feel better. Yugyeom didn't know if he was feeling worse or better as the older was silently suffering in order to help his now friend out.