Take My Hand || Jinson

Do I Have To Interact With Them?

Interaction; Building relationships both romantically and in a platonic matter are ways of interacting with those not in your inner circle. If one is seated alone or is isolated they are deemed emotionally unhealthy and tend to be picked on and discriminated. But then again, what do you do if being with others is worse than being alone? What is possibly wrong with being alone?

This question Mark asked himself everyday. Since Mark was young he was always unable to create any type of relationships with anyone. A child usually learns how to form a relationship from their mother, But for Mark this was his problem. He didn't have one. He never had a mother figure to look to for comfort when needed. Mark's mother had in fact up and left in the middle of the night without telling anyone leaving Mark and his father clueless the next day.

This gave Mark's father no choice but to raise the younger alone and the only way he knew. Although this became especially hard when Mark's father worked a 9 am to 10 pm job, seven days a week. The only time Mark would see his father was before he left for work on school days.

Deep down his father loved him but on the surface Mark's father blamed the poor child for his wife leaving. His father thought 'Maybe if he wasn't here she still would be'  They were both missing the motherly love and attention making them crave affection even more. Mark's father could easily handle his craving for this attention but it wasn't so easy for Mark. But in the end they had no way to fill in that gap that was left behind that could only be filled by the one that had left the two males high and dry.

But of course his father didn't mean anything he said. He wanted to show Mark that he did care and that he did love the child but he didn't know how. He had no way to reach the younger in sense of wanting to talk willingly and Mark's father did not want to force mark to do anything he didn't want to do. Mark's father didn't know how poorly this was affecting the younger's health and well being because Mark never said anything to him. Mark was asleep the whole time his father was home every day.

Mark was bullied in school just because he only had a father, he was attacked physically and emotionally, but he didn't tell his father not wanting to be another burden. Mark felt that if he toughed it out that he wouldn't have to tell anyone and that it would all blow over. But nothing is ever that easy especially as you get older. Being alone was now seen as weird and an easy target.

Slowly things got worse and it got to a point where Mark couldn't handle it. One night Mark wasn't aware that his father had finished early due to it being the younger's birthday, but what Mark didn't know was the state he was in. Bruises littered his arms and torso where previous scarring had taken place from the multiple times he had slid a sharp object along his skin, shirt torn but still on his body, one black eye and a possible broken nose. Crimson liquid trickling down his face from his nose and corner of his mouth.

Mark's father had seen this as first hand evidence and finally realised that his son was in fact being beaten up at school. He couldn't hold himself back and ran over to the now fifteen year old male, engulfing him in a hug which he hadn't done for several years. Mark collapsed in to his fathers hold and began to cry, loud sobs leaving the younger's mouth until the sobs slowly stopped turning in to soft snores.

Mark's father had then decided that he would now look after his son in every way possible. He carried his son to his room and began to strip him of his blood stained clothes, changing them for the softest clothing hidden in his sons drawers. Once he dressed his son in a pickachu onesie he began wrapping his son's cuts with bandages to prevent them from getting infected. He applied some anti-inflammation cream to the bruises as softly as he possibly could and placed the younger under the warm blankets hoping that he feels better in the morning.

The following morning Mark had woken up and walked out to talk to his father, it was 10 am and Mark was sure he was bound to get in trouble for not going to school. Mark finally got to his father's study when he saw his father just finishing up a phone call. "Mark I need to talk to you about something." He said with a stern voice which scared Mark slightly making the boy look straight to the floor. "I am moving you from that school in to another school. I never want to see you come home how you did last night, Bruised and bloody." This sent relief through Mark's body. he was finally going to get out of that hell hole.

He gets into a new high school and the things were different... including Mark, even if he wants to talk to someone, he couldn't, the words didn't came out of this mouth, and when he was under a lot of pressure of having to be with a lot of people, he would get an anxiety attack, making his school life even harder. 

Getting in to a new school was easy for Mark, especially with the straight A grades Mark currently had. The difficult thing at this new school was surviving. Mark felt something off though. He felt as if he was a completely different person. Every time Mark had tried to communicate with someone nothing would come out, He would open his mouth only for it to close again. This continued for two years.

This had quickly become a problem for the male as he was soon unable to communicate with anyone. One teacher had gotten curious about the Male at hand and decided to monitor him. She watch another student walk over and try to talk to Mark. She watched Mark go through the stages of having a panic attack, followed by an anxiety attack and finished with Mark bolting to the nearest bathroom. She had gotten up and followed him to check if he was ok. She walked into the bathroom and witnessed Mark emptying the contents of his stomach into the toilet. 

She immediately ran to his side in hopes to comfort him. It clearly worked as he soon came down from his anxiety attack and finished emptying his stomach. She walked him to the nurses office and then walked into the staff lounge where she made a call to his father.

Mark's father was there in no less than five minutes. "I'm sorry sir but in order for you to understand the situation I must make Mark re-live what just happened. I know this will affect his health but you must see what happens when he attempts to talk to another student. Please give me permission to do so." He nodded his head in approval not knowing how bad it could have possibly gotten. He was then asked to stand right outside of the nurses office as the teacher had brought in another student, obviously aware of the situation. 

She looked at Mark's father before telling the student to try and talk to Mark. Without fail, Mark began to have a panic attack and then an Anxiety attack. The teacher quickly handed Mark a vomit bag as he emptied his stomach contents for the second time. The teacher dismissed the student and thanked him for his cooperation, She then turned to Mark's father who had a worried expression on his face.

Mark's Father knew there was something wrong and took Mark to a specialist, after a single session Mark was diagnosed with a rare form of Social anxiety that the psychiatrist was unable to treat himself. So he referred Mark to JYP Health Institution. The seventeen year old male was shown around the grounds of the Institution and shown to his room. They decided to give Mark his own room until he could tell the doctors and show that he could talk to another person on his own without getting sick.

The Nurse had handed Mark a letter and left him to read it alone;

Dear Mark,

I'm sorry that it had come this far. I'm sorry that I was not wary of your health and well being. Please forgive me for putting you in that place. 

On another note, I told the Institute your favorite color was Baby blue so they made sure to paint your room that color and that your other favorite color was baby pink, so they have your outfit in both baby pink and blue as well as white. I also told them that you really liked Music and they said they actually had a music program that they wanted to run. So they put you in that group and at the moment it is Just you in that program.

Please forgive me and I promise to try and visit as many times as possible. I love you son, I really do. I know it was wrong to work such long hours and all but I Love You So Much and hopefully, when you come out we can spend some time together as father and son?

Love Dad.