Take My Hand || Jinson

A Start...

All the nights were the same, the pain and sorrow would embrace him, not letting him sleep, the sadness would also be there, always with him, attacking his memories and feelings. Negative thoughts encasing his mind. He only wanted to sleep so he couldn't feel anything, and so that he couldn't remember anything but of course his mind betrayed him, attacking him as always. The night was his worst enemy, but at the same time his best ally, only the night would solace him, but the night was also the one that allowed his worst fears and nightmares to enter. Not to mention the raw emotion that it cause to flow through him.

The pain in his chest appears and so does the lump in his throat. Yugyeom knew that he wasn't alone, not anymore, but he couldn't control his sadness, his sorrow, the feeling of being alone. Before he could even realize, he was walking towards the door.

"Where are you going?"

"To the garden, wanna come with me?"

"Sure"

The garden was the only place in which he felt safe, whenever he wasn't good, he would go there and admire how beautiful the flowers were, he remembers that his mother once told him that he was like a flower, he may look weak and easy to hurt, but you will never be able to hurt him because the spines are there, dangerous yet beautiful. Hence his favorite flower being a rose.

They were on the way to the garden when they saw someone walking down the corridor, that caught their attention. It was late and usually nobody was awake at that hour. They decided to follow him just to make sure he wasn't going to do something that could potentially harm himself. 

They saw him enter an unfamiliar room at the end of the corridor, it was quite far from the rooms but, close to the garden, they could continue walking and reach the garden, but they didn't. They decided to wait outside and if it was necessary, they would enter. 

Then the soft sound of the piano being played reached the two males who stood there in amazement at then unknown persons talent. As the person continued playing the boys couldn't help but to fall in to a trance. The melody was soft yet sad, the minor tone gave the keys the power to express the raw and realistic feelings of the one who was playing. Each key was in charge of telling a story, a feeling; sorrow, sadness, pain, loneliness, happiness, failure, success, love, hate, everything was in there, through the music someone was telling his story, his life. Yugyeom could easily tell that the one playing was screaming for help, for comfort, for compassion, for company. Accompanying the piano, a soft but angelic like voice began to sing

You should be happy
You should be smiling
You don't know what pain is
You are just an attention seeker

Yugyeom felt as if he had just been shot. The lyrics of the song hitting a sensitive nerve, his memories beginning to attack him; he could easily listen to the voices saying that to him, he could feel the pain that those words made, but not only his pain also the stranger's pain.

Suddenly the way in which the keys were play changed, it was still soft yet aggressive, like if he was claiming someone, asking why they couldn't feel his pain, why they didn't think that their words were breaking him, killing him slowly.

Why don't you understand?
My pain is real
And so my scars
Why can't you understand?
I'm suffering in silence
Being silent by the people
Slowly dying while they are smiling
I'm just so lonely

A tear fell from Yugyeoms eye, passing his cheek and finally reaching the floor, the tear broke and so did his heart, all of his life he was thinking the same thing, saying the same thing yet the only difference being that the unknown male had a way to express everything, Yugyeom however didn't . Why don't they understand that my pain is real, that I'm suffering? He would ask himself that every five minutes, just because he was a kid all the people would say that he was searching for attention, that he was only an attention seeker. He was dying slowly while his parents were happy, laughing all the time. Every time he tried to tell them that he was sad, that he couldn't smile, they wouldn't pay attention and just shut him up. He felt lonely all the time yet no one wanted to help him

The tears will never stop
The fear will never disappear
My only company
Will always be the darkness of the night

Here I am again
Being comforted by the moon
Feeling like I'm in a loop
In which happiness can't be found

The moon changed often, but it was the moon sass the only thing Yugyeom had. Every night he would look at the sky and see the moonlight while the tears run out of his eyes, asking why him, why he couldn't be happy. The only witness of his pain was the moon because when the sun came out, he needed to pretend that he was fine, that he was happy.

Why don't you understand?
My pain is real
And so my scars
Why can't you understand?
I'm suffering in silence
Being silent by the people
Slowly dying while they are smiling
I'm just so lonely

I don't have the strength to fight
I don't have the strength to live
Then why I am here?
Being abandoned by society
Just like a stray dog

Why don't you understand?
My pain is real
And so my scars
Why can't you understand?
I'm suffering in silence
Being silent by the people
Slowly dying while they are smiling
I'm just so lonely
So lonely

The song end but Yugyeoms tears didn't, he didn't realize that Bambam had disappeared, but he was back with a cup of coffee, he couldn't help but smile.

"Once you told me that coffee always comfort you" 

"Thank you"

Yugyeom felt like that song was for him, a way in which he could unburden his sadness and pain. He was wondering who the stranger inside was, he wanted to say to him that he wasn't alone, that he could understand him.

"Should we go in?" They said at the same time.

"I guess that's a yes Yugy"

They opened the door and saw the male inside, they entered and began to walk towards him. When they were close enough to see his face, Bambam could see that the male's eyes began to get teary and how he started to press on his chest as if to relive a heartburn like sensation. After seeing that Bambam stopped Yugyeom and they sat on the floor in a way to show the male that they mean no harm and are there in peace and harmony; they were closer to the stranger but not close enough to see and listen clearly to each other.

Bambam understood the meaning of what the male was doing because he used to suffer from panic attacks, it wasn't something serious, and thanks to that he had an idea of how to identify one.

"Before doing anything try to breathe okay? Let me give you a tip, inhale in four seconds, then hold your breath for seven seconds and finally exhale in eight seconds, do this until the panic attack subsides"

Bambam saw how after doing that "exercise" the stranger was better, it looked that he could breathe normally and he was calmer.

"I'm glad to see you are a little bit calmer. You don't have to force yourself to talk too much or answer something, you can just move your head if you want to, but what I really want you to answer me is this, what's your name?"

Yugyeom was impressed, Bambam was talking in a soft and calm way, making them feel comfortable, this helped the other one to not to feel pressured about answering. Yugyeom couldn't help but smile, he talked like that when he comforted him, making him feel better and he knew the other would feel the same way.

"Ma- Mark"

"So you are Mark? Doctor Hwang told us about you, don't worry he only said good things about you, anyways my name is Bambam, and my friend over here is Yugyeom. I think Hyunjin told you about us, I hope we can be friends Mark" Bambam spoke and Yugyeom nodded.

Mark looked at them cautiously before standing up and glancing over at the door. Bambam had a feeling Mark was going to run but instead Mark sat himself on the floor, shuffling closer but still having enough distance if something bad was to happen. Bambam and Yugyeom both smiled at the male and decided to sit here until Mark wanted to leave.

"So you play the piano I see" Bambam says trying to start the conversation.....

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