Loving Him Even In Sadness

Loving: Five

Unanswered

Thank you was just my only reply to Zack’s comment. Some of my distant friends and followers here in Cebu noticed his comment. Everyone keeps on commenting and replying to his comment saying sana all.

They are irritating the hell out of me. Naiirita ako sa kanila o kay Zack? I guess it is the latter. Bakit hindi niya man lang na-reply-an ang invitation ko pero palong-palo ka kung maka-comment o maka-reply sa mga stories ko sa Instagram? Nakakainis pero wala naman akong magagawa.

Kinalimutan ko muna ang tungkol kay Zack sa sandaling nakita ko ang sasakyan nina Mommy at Ate. I am standing near my room’s window kaya agad kong nakita ang paparating nilang sasakyan. The fear in me heightened! Paano kung malaman nila na kinuha ko sandali ang sasakyan?

I think my insides are screaming in frustration! Natatakot ako na magkaroon ng kasalanan pero may kasalanan na ako na ginawa! Lord, help me.

Sa takot ko ay lumabas ako ng kwarto at pinanuod ko sila habang papasok sila sa bahay. They came home in unison by the way. Nang nakita ko sila na busy sa pakikipag-usap sa phone, mabilis akong naglakad pabalik sa kwarto ko. Siguro kung malaman ni Mommy, hindi niya naman siguro ako pagsasabihan ngayon dahil parang ang busy niya habang kausap iyong nasa phone. Kinakausap din nina Ate at Kuya.

I closed my eyes automatically when I reached my room. Dinaan ko sa tulog lahat ng pangamba ko. This will be fine tomorrow.

Nang nagising ay agad akong napangiti. Mom might scold me, I should brace myself for it. Aamin din naman ako kung sakali.

Mabilis akong bumaba para sumabay sa kanila na mag-agahan. They usually eat early para maaga rin sila makaalis para sa trabaho. Nang nakababa ay mainit ko silang binati ng good morning at isa-isang hinalikan ang kanilang mga pisngi.

I smiled sweetly as I sat down in my usual seat and started grabbing foods.

“Zen, baby? Aren’t you going to tell Mommy something?” Mom spoke.
Ito na nga ba ang sinasabi ko!

“About that…” I trailed off.

Nang tiningnan ko si Mommy nakikita ko sa mga mata niya na parang nagsasabi na hindi dapat ako magsinungaling. She will eventually know. Or she already knew.

“Okay, it wasn’t my intention to bring the car with me, Mom. Believe me, please,” I pouted in front of her.

She stayed silent. Ganoon din sina Ate at Kuya. It feels like they are trying to balance my words.

“Sorry at hindi ko rin nasabi na aalis ako. Binilin ko lang kay Nay Eda kasi akala ko maaga kayo mauuwi.” I defended once again.

“I was in Liam’s residence and oh, his parents sent their regards. And I left a two in the afternoon and saw that I don’t have a ride. You never allowed me to take public transportation because it is not safe and it is close to danger…”

“Kaya ginamit mo ang sasakyan?” apila ni Ate Leigh. I nodded.

“Zen, we told you, you can have it when you’re eighteen. Paano kung may mga checkpoint? Wala ka pang lisensya. We can’t pull you out just because our family has an influence here in Cebu. Life won’t work that way under my supervision, Zen,” kalmadong sabi ni Mommy.

“I am sorry. Ano ba dapat kong ginawa? Call you? Or have Kuya fetch me at ihatid ko kina Liam?”

My mother nodded. Nakaka-abala naman yata kay Kuya iyon.

“Do not hesitate to call any of us if you wanna go outside. You’re still a minor. Or have your friends fetch you instead.”

Tumango ako kay Mommy. Bakit ba hindi ko naisip ’yon? My friends won’t mind it anyway.