Loving Him Even In Sadness

Loving: Sixteen

Regret

Naalala ko ang sinabi niya na dapat maghanda na ako para matulog. Now I am here taking a bath. Naalala ko rin ang aking pag-upo kanina sa sahig ng hospital…I don’t know bakit marumi ang parte roon ng hospital.

Nang matapos maligo ay agad naman akong lumabas. Sakto naman at may kumatok sa pinto ng kwarto ko. I know for sure that the one knocking the door is Zack. Mabilis naman akong nagpunta sa pinto. I slightly opened the door, enough for him to hear me speak.

“If you’ll going to check on me if I am already sleeping, I am still not. Katatapos ko lang maligo. You can come back when I am done.” I informed.

Agad kong nasapo ang aking bibig pagkatapos kong isinara ang pinto. What the hell! What did I just say? I told him… no, I gave him the permission to come back later. This is not so… my gosh! This is frustrating the hell out of me!

Without wasting much time, I ran towards the walk in closet. Mabilis akong nagbihis. I calmed myself for a bit before I went to open the door. Inaasahan ko na wala na si Zack doon, but to my surprise, he’s still there.

“Why are you still here? What do you want?”

“I’m going to watch you sleep,” he informed me.

That’s fucking creepy! Nag-iisip ba siya?

“Sorry ha, but I am old enough to sleep on my own.” deklara ko.

“That’s clearly not my point, Zen. But if you want…” hindi niya natapos ang sinabi niya dahil tiningnan ko siya nang sobrang riin.

But then he gave me his playful smile. He went from a small smile, he gave me a smirk, and now he is grinning like crazy.

“You went inside my room last time when we’re in the resort and earlier you sent me food without my permission,” reklamo ko sa kaniya.

“It’s obvious that you’re mentally tallying my actions that seems disrespectful to you, Zen. Keeping a scorecard isn’t healthy for the relationship, Zen.”

What? I laughed at him…so much. He was so serious when he stated those words. But it is funny to me that I don’t want to stop laughing.

“We’re not in a relationship, Zack. We are not in any types of relationship. Even friendship for that matter, you clearly stated that we will never be friends anyway.” I smirked at him.

His expression became more serious. His aura became dark. Sa dilim nang titig niya sa akin ay para akong matutupok. This is too unfair! Kapag siya ang bilis kong maapektuhan. I can never… have that type of effect to him. Bakit kapag siya ang galit parang nanliliit ako? Pero kapag ako ang nagagalit, it seems that it’s fine for him.

Naglakad siya patungo sa akin at sobra ang kaba na nararamdaman ko. His step advances and I had no other choice but to step backwards. He continued walking but he never left my eyes. Napaupo ako sa sofa at nasa isip na wala na akong maaatrasan! Diretso ko namang iniwas agad ang tingin.

“Not so fast, Montreal,” he carefully held my cheeks.

Napatingin ulit ako sa kaniya dahil sa ginawa niya.

“You let me kiss you but then you called us not in a relationship?” He asked.

What? Dahil nahalikan girlfriend agad? And it was only in the cheeks. Don’t tell me he is conservative? 
I’m trying my best to avoid my stare pero hindi talaga ako makawala sa mga kamay niyang nakahawak sa aking pisngi. Kaya wala akong nagawa at sinagot ko ang tanong niya.