Loving Him Even In Sadness

Loving: Forty

Wedding

I’m freakin’ sweating bullets. My bride didn’t reply to my messages. Kahapon pa ’to. Since she disappeared in my house with her sister hindi na niya ako pinadalhan ng message o tinawagan man lang. And it’s driving me crazy.

I am so mad about the thought of her leaving me on the day of our wedding. I’m badly hoping that she wouldn’t do that. She told me yesterday that she loves me, that she trust me and she will never ever gonna leave me. Pero hindi ko maiwasan na mangamba.

The love of my life haven’t responded to my calls and messages and today is our wedding. Hindi niya man lang ako binati ng good morning sa araw na ’to which was very unusual to us. She’s the sweetest, in person or even in calls and messages. That’s why no one can blame me if I am this nervous for today.

“Hey man!” I heard Sean called me. Inis ko siyang tiningnan. Don’t joke on me just today Sean because I’m gonna blow your head off.

“You look pissed,” he chuckled. Sarap talaga suntukin. Pero pinipigilan ko lang ang sarili ko. “Afraid that your bride won’t be present at your wedding?” He asked and smirk as if he’s teasing me.

Tiningnan ko ng masama si Sean.

“Don’t you dare tease me, because I wouldn’t doubt on giving you a punch in the face!” I shouted at him.

He gesture his hands as if he is surrendering to me. I slightly inhaled a deep breath to relax myself. I am a hundred and one percent that Zen will be there at our wedding. Siya iyong babae na hindi hahayaan na may masaktan siyang tao. Ako lang itong gago na sinaktan siya kahit alam kong mahal na mahal ko siya.

I’m now wearing my best suit for the wedding. I’m not wearing a black tux, instead I wore a platinum colored suit. I just want my suit to compliment my wife’s gown. Wife? Hmm. Sounds good. Or shall I say, it sounds the best.

After a few minutes a make-up artist came to me to add a light color on my face. Just a small flick of the brush and then I’m done. But, I rather want my face to be normal, no foundation.

Pero hindi nila ’ko hahayaan na gano’n ang mukha ko papunta sa simbahan. Anyway, I’m still the most handsome human being to my wife’s eyes. Ngumiti na naman ako nang pumasok sa isip ko ang salitang asawa. I never thought I get to call her that. But, hours from now, matatawag ko na siyang gano’n. And I can’t wait for that moment.

I opened my phone hoping for her reply, but there’s none. Wala ni isa. Kahit kanino, wala. I greeted her a Happy Birthday early this morning because today is her birthday. I badly chose this day to be the date of our wedding sabay sa kaarawan niya para mas maging espesyal ang araw na ’to.

All for this is for Zen. Mahal na mahal ko ang babaeng ’yon dahilan kung bakit gagawin ko ang lahat para sa kanya.

I exhaled a breath for me to remain calm. I don’t want to look tense at the eyes of everybody. I should look confident.

“Zack anak?” I heard my Mom called me. Here comes my beautiful mother. She’s looking at me with full of joy on her eyes. “I’m so happy for you anak. I can’t wait for you and Zen to get wed. Gusto ko na ng apo.” Sabi ni Mommy at tumawa ako.

“Zen and I will give you what you wanted. I also want a baby. My baby.”
I said smiling.

Ilang minuto rin ang lumipas at tinawag na ako nina Mommy at Daddy para pumunta na kami sa simbahan. I became nervous at every passing moment. Tiningnan ako ni Dad na parang hindi niya ako gets.

“Zack... Zen will be there. Don’t worry. She’ll come. She loves you so much, I bet she won’t lose this moment,” my Dad told me making me feel at ease.