Loving Him Even In Sadness

Loving: Seventeen

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I slept with at heavy chest. That’s what I know. Hindi ko alam kung bumalik ba si Zack o hindi. Ang alam ko lang ay nang dahil sa galit at poot ay nakatulog ako.

Morning came and I still didn’t want to get up and dressed up. My eyes are swollen from crying yesterday, that’s what I thought. Kahit hindi na ako umiyak kagabi pero namamaga pa rin iyon. Leaving an eyebag and dark circles under my eye.

My body is facing the left side, that’s my position every time gigising ako. I don’t know maybe my body gestures are used to it. Huminga ako nang malalim bago nagpasya na bumangon na. I even held my eyes checking if there’s a thing left on it.

I sat on my bed for about twenty seconds first to avoid dizziness and relax myself by doing a calm breathing exercise. I’m calm. That’s what I said before standing but I was stuck where am I standing when I saw who is sleeping soundly in my room’s sofa!

Bakit sa sofa siya natulog?! My goodness! 

You fool! Alangan naman sa kama mo patutulugin? Tugon ko ulit sa sarili ko.

I noticed he doesn’t have a blanket nor a pillow! Ano ang ginagawa niya? There were uncountable pillows and blanket in this house! Mayroon din sa guest room na tinutuluyan niya but he didn’t bother bringing one! Gusto niya ba ng stiff neck? My sofa may be long and big but for him it’s not enough. He’s tall. Talagang hindi siya dapat kakasya dyan! Pero ang ginawa niya, he positioned like a fetus! Goodness!

Sinapo ko na lang ang aking noo!
I walk towards him and tried to wake him up to let him continue sleeping in my bed.

“Zack?” Tawag ko sa kanya habang mahinang ginalaw ang kanyang balikat upang magising. It’s not helping.

“Zack?” I whispered softly and hell I don’t know why I am whispering so soft towards him!

Ang ginawa ko ay hindi siya tinawag at tuluyan siyang niyugyog. Gladly he slowly opened his eyes. Only to see tiredness in it. Nakonsensya tuloy ako bakit ko pa siya ginising.

“Hey, sorry to wake you up. But I’ve noticed hindi ka komportable rito sa sofa. Doon ka sa kama ko matulog ulit. Gising na naman ako,” there again.

My voice was very sweet as if I cared for him so bad.

“Are you gonna sleep with me?” My brows furrowed at his question pero hindi ko nalang inisip iyon.

“I’m awake already. Tapos I’ll go downstairs if may breakfast na ba,” I explained. I don’t know bakit nag-explain pa ako. It goes out naturally. “You sleep in my bed, babalik ako rito para gisingin ka for breakfast, okay?” I asked him then he just nodded.

He stood up from the sofa, muntikan na siyang matumba. He almost lost his balance and I had no choice but to help him reach the bed. When we are near the bed he immediately jump through it and crawled towards the pillow then he dozed off. Iniwan ko siya sa kwarto ko at bumaba na. Sakto at nakita ko agad si Nay Eda.

“Good morning, Nay Eda,” masayang bati ko sa kanya.

“Magandang umaga Zen. Napaaga yata ang gising mo, hindi ka na ba pagod?” Tanong niya sakin na agad kong inilingan.

“I'm fine Nay Eda. Just want to ask if may breakfast na ba,” sabi ko at agad niya ako iginiya sa kusina.

May breakfast na nga at kukunan na niya sana ako ng makakain pero agad kong inayawan.

“Hindi pa ako kakain, Nay. Ano lang, gusto ko lang dalhan si Zack ng pagkain. He’s tired. Hindi ko alam. Sa sofa ko siya natulog kagabi at parang pagod na pagod. Pinatulog ko naman siya sa kama ko kaya ako nandito ngayon,” I explained. Only to see a "pangangasar" look on her eyes.