Loving Him Even In Sadness

Loving: Thirty

Dream

When I reached at my condo unit, all the smiles earlier faded. Ang naiisip ko na lang ay iyong sakit habang naririnig ko lahat ng sinasabi ni Issa. Damn! I knew it! Alam ko may gusto siya kay Zack right before and after our breakup. I saw those glint of her eyes.

Noong una sinabihan niya ako na 'babae rin ako Zen. Alam ko kung paano tumingin ang babae sa lalaki na gusto niya' and I guess I should’ve also told her that. I knew from the very start that she had secret desire for Zack.

One week after Zack left, saka ko pa sinabi sa mga kaibigan ko ang nangyari. They exclaimed so bad and ranted their opinions on me. They thought Zack was trustworthy at hindi makabasag-pinggan, but then that certain circumstances changed on how they view him.

“Stop crying Zen! Geez, for a man? Iiyakan mo?” Issa bitterly asked me.

“You! Shut up! You aren’t the one in pain kaya huwag ka magsalita nang ganyan Issa! How could you state that with all the bitterness in your voice?” Gladys saved my ass right there. She’s the one arguing with Issa.

“Do you think I’m not in pain? Well, nagkagusto at nagmahal lang naman ako sa isang lalaki na alam kong hindi magiging akin. Mabuti pa si Zen, naging kanya nang panandalian ang lalaking ’yon. Ako? Never. And it will never happen!”

Now I really concluded that all my hunch was right. But it was really me who first fell on Zack. They never cared about Zack’s life until Zack became part of mine. Sinuportahan lang nila ako kay Zack dahil iniidolo ko siya, but other than that, wala na.

So, I just can’t understand how Issa made herself fall for Zack. Well, it’s not for me to answer. Wala akong panahon upang problemahin ang sitwasyon ng iba.

I’m mentally, physically tired. This day was exhausting. Off to work, saw the scene I hated the most, cried my heart out, went home, ate dinner, and arrived to an argument. At ngayon iiyak na naman.

Sydney wasn’t in the picture. Hindi ko pa rin maintindihan, what does that mean? Oh God! Sana dalawin na lang ako nang antok nang sa gano’n ay hindi ko muna ito poproblemahin. Bahala na bukas.

True to my words. I found myself snoring and having the sleep I wanted.

***

I woke up feeling so confused, that’s when I remembered that I’m indeed confused and today is the day, Zack will be explaining.

As I stretched my body, I heard my phone rang and saw that it was Lee calling.

“Good morning, Lieutenant. Wala yata tayong duty ngayon, walang lakad si Mr. San Jose, he cancelled his schedule,” he informed me.

I sighed because I know why Zack cancelled his schedule for today.

“Good morning, mabuti naman at makapagpahinga tayo. Have a good day ahead, Lee.”

I heard him laugh sexily.

“Your voice is much sexier when you just woke up, Lieutenant. Have a good day.” He extol.