Loving Him Even In Sadness

Loving: Twenty-Seven

Break

Pauwi na kami ngayon. Hindi ko alam bakit kailangang pribado. It should be that serious kaya kailangan pribado. Ano kaya iyon?

Bumuntonghininga lamang ako. I’m nervous and at the same time I’m worried. Hindi ko alam pero may kakaibang pakiramdam ako sa usapang ito. Sana maging maayos lang ang lahat.

We arrive quickly on our mansion’s ground. Nagsimula nang manlamig ang palad ko. I’m also sweating, my fingers are trembling. What happened? Bakit ganito na lang ako mag-react? Am I over reacting? Are my instincts becoming true? Are my instincts will prove me wrong later? Kinakabahan ako without clear reason. Kasi ngayon, maraming rason ang tumatakbo sa utak ko.

“Doon tayo sa garden n’yo,” sabi niya kaya sumunod ako.

Our garden radiates a calming vibe. Making me feel at ease. Pero nang sandaling nagtama ang paningin namin ni Zack, pain crashed unto me when I saw how emotionless his eyes are.

Zack? Why are you giving me that look?

“Zack? Ano’ng pag-uusapan natin?” I asked innocently.

“Want me to tell you something?”

Tumango ako.

“I left an unfinished business with someone in US,” he said calmly.

Ano na naman ito?

“Family?” Wala sa sariling usal ko.

“Zen, alam mong nandito ang pamilya ko sa Pilipinas.”

Yeah, it’s obvious. But I don’t want to go farther. Imposible na kaibigan niya. With the bond with his family, I don’t think it will have an unfinished business. Ang salita na iyon ay palaging nagagamit sa mga romantic relationship.

“I left someone I loved the most in U.S. And I’ll come back there and try to pursue her again,” agad akong napatingin sa kanya.

“What are you talking about?” I fired a question but he didn’t listen, instead he continued speaking.

“Thanks for the confidence and courage you gave me, Zen. And now, I think I have enough courage on facing her again,” he spoke.

Pero wala akong maintindihan.

“I don’t understand you!” Pabulong na sigaw ko.

Ano ang sinasabi niya? Wala akong maintindihan! Ayaw ko intindihin.

“Zen, let’s break up.”

Matapang at mariin niyang sabi sa akin habang seryoso na nakatingin sa akin.
Mas lalong hindi ko maintindihan! Hindi ito ang inaasahan ko.

“Wait, what? Why?”

Nagsimula nang manginig ang aking labi.

“Alam kong babae pero hindi ko maamin. Girlfriend ba Zack? Kasi hindi kaibigan, hindi best friend, hindi pamilya. Girlfriend ba?”

“Yes.”

Napatingin ako sa kanya nang sinagot niya ’yon.