Arielle's PoV
Noah's face instantly dropped and he ran his hands through his hair.
"What about us, Arielle?" He asked calmly. None of this is going to go well at all.
"Can we just leave it until we get back please?" I begged.
"Are you kidding?" He slightly raised his voice, standing from the bed.
"You wake up grumpy this morning and tell me that it's about us?! How am I supposed to wait until tomorrow to find out what the heck it is!" His stare was scaring me a little. He looked angry. I had totally forgotten what his anger was like, he had been so sweet since we started this but now I've ruined that.
"Noah, please." I stood up, reaching for his arm but he pulled away.
"You're having second thoughts aren't you?" He asked, his voice low. I didn't know what to say so I just nodded my head, tearing my gaze from him and to the floor. I feel horrible.Noah stayed silent, a small sigh escaping his lips as he sat back down on the edge of his bed. I gulped as he frustratingly ran his hands over his face then through his hair.
"S-say something." I spoke, barely a whisper, afraid of how this boy was going to react in front of me.
"What am I supposed to say, Arielle?" He raised his voice, shrugging his shoulders. I know I've upset him but this is something we need to talk about. We've always seemed to avoid it.
"We can't keep avoiding this, Noah." I shook my head, the tears threatening to fall. I'm not going to show my weakness, not when I've started this.I gulped back the lump in my throat and watched as he rose to his feet again.
"What are we avoiding?" He exasperated.
"This whole situation!" I replied, using my hand to gesture between the two of us.
"Everything! We can't keep doing this!" I added. The look on his face made me want to take all of that back. He held such sadness and he shook his head whilst his bottom lip trembled ever so slightly.
"What are you saying, Arielle?" His voice cracked, showing just how hurt he was about this.
"Noah, look..." I started as I took a step closer to him. His gaze was stuck on me. It wasn't one I had seen before and it scared me. He seemed angry, sad and confused all at the same time."I was on the phone to Jason earlier-" I continued before he was quick to cut me off.
"I fucking knew he said something!" He gritted his teeth, launching his phone down to the bed angrily.
"No. He didn't say anything." I shook my head, defending my best friend. Jason never ever said anything about Noah and I not being together, this is all on my own terms.
"Then what's changed your mind, huh? You literally tell me you love me and now you want to throw it away?!" Noah yelled to which I jumped. I understand where he's coming from, I really do.
"If you would please just let me explain." I reached to grab his hand and he didn't move. As I intertwined our fingers, he looked down at our hands. A single tear dropped from his eye, landing on the back of his own hand. Once he noticed it, he pulled his hand out of mine and wiped his eyes before turning his back to me.
"Go." He spoke.
"Please." My voice quivered. Seeing him cry made my heart break. He was crying because of me. The one person I would never want to hurt, I've hurt. What am I doing?
"Just go, please." He begged, his voice was much calmer than it was before. Now the anger has been taken over by complete sadness.
"I'm sorry." I sniffed, turning on my heel and slowly walking out of the room.As I reached the door, I turned back to look at the fragile boy who was now leaning over the small dressing table with his head in his hands. All I want to do is run back over there, take it all back and tell him how sorry I was over and over again. I know if I do that, he'll push me away. Or he'll forgive me, we'll make up then I'll bring it back up again in another couple of days and hurt him all over again.
I let out a breath before opening the door and leaving the room. As much as I hate to admit it, I am doing what's right.
I don't know when he'll want to properly talk to me about all of this but maybe when he does, he'll agree with me too. I'm doing this for our parents sake.I love Noah, with all my heart. Nothing will ever change that but sometimes it's the right person, wrong time. Maybe someday in the future we could be together but right now is not the time. I should have never gotten us into this mess in the first place. Maybe our parents won't work out in the future, which seems very unlikely, but time may be on our side. If that's the case, Noah and I could get together, tell our parents everything and they would just laugh at our stupidity. If we told them now, it could break up the family. I wouldn't want that to be our fault. My dad deserves happiness and Kelly is just that.
Somewhere out there is the girl that Noah needs. Someone he can show off to everyone, someone he can bring home to his parents, someone he can have a future with, someone he doesn't have to hide his feelings for. Sadly, I am not that someone, as much as I wish I was.
The next two days are going to be unbearable. I promised my dad we would have an argument free holiday. God only knows how this is going to turn out now.
YOU ARE READING
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