The Fate of The Luna

Chapter 18

Jordan's P.O.V.

Freyja, my first wolf, the one my father had my mother murder. I look over her and reach out to pet her. She leans into my touch and I can't help but smile. I have missed her. She nudges my leg and I hop on her back. We take off running through the forest. The wind is whipping my hair back and I let out a scream of glee.

We run around for what feels like hours. I just allow the peace and happiness to wash over me. I giggle and laugh more with Freyja howling in happiness. Our souls have finally found a way back to each other. We come up on a clearing and Freyja jumps out of the forest into the field. I finally spot the running river I have been hearing.

Freyja walks over to it and I hop off her back. I lean down to feel the cool water. Freyja yips and I turn around to see three other wolves standing next to her. I spot Estelle's coat and approach her first. She is hesitant to let me touch her. Her eyes are sad, and I look down. I have caused her so much pain. I look at the other two wolves standing next to Freyja and Estelle. I can only assume these are my other wolves, I have rid myself of.

Guilt washes over me and I tear up. "I'm sorry. To each and every single one of you. I have caused all of you pain, and for that I am so so sorry," the words rush out of me and I am crying by the end. All four wolves come over to console me. "Why are you all so nice to me after everything?" I ask them not understanding how they could be so forgiving.

The small black wolf nuzzles my hand. I rub between her ears and she yips happily. "Cerra," I coo out her name. She was the wolf that I was given after Freyja. She is small compared to the others, and she is the weakest wolf. My father had my mother request and link me with a weak wolf, so he could continue abusing me. Cerra knew what his intentions were, and she was always so sweet to me. She always stayed up to console me after beatings.

'Jordan, we are all a part of you. Estelle is your wolf now, but we are all within you. You just have to call for us and we will come," The red wolf, Lilah, speaks. Lilah was my third wolf. She is strong and level-headed, but I thrive off chaos or I did. I rid myself of her because she would always try to reason with me before I acted. I smile at her and run my fingers through her soft coat.

'Jordan, we were all made for you for certain points of your life. Moon Goddess, Iris, knew exactly what you needed in a wolf when you needed it,' Freyja explains and steps forward to me. My head is nodding, but I still am not sure what I am supposed to do.

'What do I do?' I ask and it comes out just as helpless as I feel. Estelle, who has avoided looking at me this whole time finally looks up.

'Jordan, you have to decide which wolf will share your soul with you. Freyja, Cerra, Lilah, and I are all a part of you, but only one of us will share souls with you. You can summon the other three whenever you please, but one will permanently be with you at all times," Estelle explains and she shakes her big wolf head, looking at all the others.

This should be an easy decision. I should pick Freyja. She is my first wolf and the most powerful of all of them, but my eyes do not move from Estelle. I know if I pick Freyja, the mate bond will be cut between Liam and I. Grim and Estelle are mates, not Freyja and Grim. This may be a perfect option, but Iris said Liam is the key. I could rid myself of Grim and Liam altogether right now.

I walk away from the wolves looking at me. I need time to think. I strip of my clothes and get in the water. The water calms me down and makes me feel more at peace. The wolves yip at me and then take off to go run and play. They understand me. I let out a laugh and begin swimming upstream.

Maybe I should never decide and just stay here forever. I would never have to deal with anymore Luna tasks, whiny packmates, shitty alphas, demanding mates, or wars. But by staying here, I will be in between realms forever. I will not be there to protect my pack, have pups of my own, or reach true peace. I sigh and feel just as lost as I ever. Why is this decision just mine to make?

The water shifts as a new presence wades into the river to me. I look over and see Freyja paddling to me. I grin and swim to her and rub her head. She purrs into me, and I coo at her. My first wolf. My first bond.

'Freyja, what do I do?' I ask her as we both climb out of the river. She shakes herself out and lays her head in my lap.

'Jordan, this decision is yours and yours alone to make. I will, however, give you my opinion if you wish to hear it,' She rolls over on her back and I rub her tummy. I nod my head. Her opinion means everything to me. 'Estelle has a mate. You have a mate. If you choose Lilah, Cerra, or me there is no guarantee we will mate. Liam may be a pain in your ass, but keep in mind what Moon Goddess said. Plus, I will never be far. I will always come when you say my name, J,' her wolfy grin makes me smile back. I know now my choice is easy.

I ask Freyja to gather up the other she-wolves and meet me in the middle of the clearing. She runs off to grab them and I begin to get dressed.