IS IT TIME FOR ME TO GIVE UP?

44

Lisa's POV:

Why is this happening? Every day seems to bring more complications, and here I am, unable to move or stop anything. I feel utterly useless.

"I love her," were her last words, catching me off guard.

I clutched my blanket tightly. She said it last night, but why is it so hard to believe her? Why does it hurt so much to hear that?

Through Jennie's muffled voice, I could tell she was crying.

Again.

Why does she look as devastated as I feel? It shouldn't just be me, right?

"What's wrong with you, Jennie?" I asked silently, burying my face in my hands. But every sob she made felt like a sharp knife slashing inside me.

Despite her continuous sobs, she managed to speak, though I couldn't quite understand her words; the pain was evident in her tone.

She cried for what felt like an hour. During her weeping, I didn't realize tears were streaming down my own face.

When will this end? I'm so tired of all this.

Another hour passed before I heard footsteps and the door across from mine slammed shut. I moved quickly, grabbing a hoodie from my closet. I couldn't stay here today.

I hurried to my car and drove aimlessly until it brought me to the place I needed most.

"Hi, Mom," I whispered as I approached the man cutting the grass around my mother's grave. He must be the caretaker assigned to each plot here.

"Good morning, miss," he greeted with a respectful bow.

"Are you finished, sir?" I asked politely.

"Just a moment," he replied, turning back to finish his work. When he finally completed his task and was about to leave, he paused, giving me a thoughtful look.

"Uh, Is something wrong?" I inquired, feeling uneasy under his gaze.

"Oh, nothing, ma'am. I just thought you were someone I used to see here," he said cryptically. "She's smaller than you" I was puzzled, wondering if he meant Jennie, so i took my phone out and show him her picture.

"Yes, that's her," he confirmed. "She used to visit often, sometimes crying and apologizing to your mother's grave. At first, I thought she might be your sister, but she doesn't resemble you."

"How long has she been coming here?" I asked, curiosity piqued.

"I've been working here since last year, but my colleague mentioned she had been visiting long before then," he explained.

"Thank you," I murmured, watching him walk away. I sat down heavily on the ground. I had come here to escape Jennie, but what now?

Lost in thought, I barely noticed when the caretaker returned and spoke softly behind me, causing me to turn and look at him.

"I just remembered, the last time you were here, she was too," he mentioned, pointing to a large tree in the distance. "She was hiding over there. I'm sorry to intrude, but I saw her crying while you were... and when you let the rain soak you, she did the same. If you have any questions or concerns, our office is always open."

He left me to ponder his words. Jennie had been here that day, watching me from afar, crying as I stood in the rain. She always visited my mom's grave, crying and apologizing.

But why?

The confusion overwhelmed me.

I traced my mom's name on the tombstone with trembling fingers. "Hi, Mom. How are you?" I whispered. "I'm so confused, Mom. If only you could tell me why Jennie keeps coming here, why she's apologizing... it might help me feel a bit better."

"Can you help me lessen this pain I'm going through?" I pleaded silently.

I closed my eyes, remembering a time when everything was almost perfect.

Nini and Lili...

Mom and I...

Jisoo, Bambam, and Seulgi...

It all seemed so ideal.

Was it really my fault?

If I hadn't agreed to this wedding, would it still be happening?

The questions swirled in my mind, and as rain began to fall softly, I sat there, seeking solace beside my mother's grave.