in your eyes

chapter eighteen

lorenz

the light from the street lamps shone through the window, barely lighting my room and the bed. her hair was darker in this light, the blonde streaks looking blue, her skin paler than before. ever so gently i ran my fingers through her soft hair, letting her completely relax in my arms. a cool breeze blew in through the small opening of my window, giving me chills.

"lo?" she whispered softly, her lips moving against my neck, giving me butterflies.

"yes ara?"

she looked up at me, her eyes big and bright. "why don't i remember you?"

my heart sank. i felt bad about how much i'd bothered her about it before, how clingy i was and how many fights i'd started because of it. i made her feel horrible about herself. "i'm sorry."

"why?"

"i was so rude to you-"

"don't apologise, it's okay," she whispered, smiling sadly.

i sat up. "how did the accident happen? do you remember?"

she laid on her stomach, resting her chin on her propped up hand. "i don't remember actually, i don't remember much before my mum's death either."

she moved herself closer to me, brushing away a strand of my hair. "what's wrong lo?"

"i just feel bad," i whispered.

her fingers played with my curls softly, her breath fanning my face. "don't, you couldn't control it."

i shuffled down and laid my head on her shoulder as she continued to play with my hair. she smelt so good. she felt so good, her skin so soft. we stayed like that for a little while. everything was so peaceful and so calm and so quiet. she looked adorable in my t shirt that was sizes too big for her, drowning her tiny frame. i was quite happy she came to me when her dad upset her instead of bottling it up inside alone, it showed she was making progress, she was getting better. and hopefully one day she would be all better, she'd find happiness again. i was so relaxed with her, and happy, i could be myself around her. she made me feel as though we were kids again, as pure and happy as we used to be.

"let's do something," she blurted out of nowhere.

"do what? it's 3 am."

she looked down at me with a big smile. "i know."

climbing out of my bed, she pulled on a pair of my sweats which just fell back down again since it was too big for her. she tied her hair up into a messy bun, her fingers working so fast it left me amazed.

"where are you going?"

"come on," she muttered, dragging me out of bed. i quickly threw on a jacket and followed her out of the house. after some loud laughing and frantic shushing, we made it out.

"where are we going?" i asked after a few minutes of walking.

she was ahead of me, smoking a cigar and singing some verse of a song she knew quietly. the streets were completely empty, not even a bird in sight let alone another person. it was so relaxing and nice being out with her at this hour. the whole world seemed to disappear for a few hours, all our worries and pain and tears and even the past slipped away. the world was ours, ours to touch, ours to keep, ours to enjoy.

"i know you were way too bright for me, i'm hopeless, broken, so you wait for me in the sky, browns my skin just right..." she sang louder, her voice beautiful, soft and smooth. she made eye contact with me, smiling widely. "you're so golden."